jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

Reading about Bitcoin, it occurred to me that these people are in many ways the same as the ones who started the financial crisis. Their lives are devoted to making value from nothing, which is really taking value from the rest of society without giving back anything in return. They're "cheating the system," so to speak.

I keep thinking about how I should be focused on doing the same, because that's what so much of the advice I get says. You do what you have to do, they say, in order to make a living. But realizing that this is what they're doing -- and that the system I'm cheating has women, minors, otherkin, and people of colour in it, and they are the ones who will be hurt the most by my cheating -- gives me pause.

I think I want to make sure that I'm giving fair value to them. Not to an employer; international capitalism can kiss my tailfeathers. Not to a deity; Inari asks only that I be myself. To the people (human and nonhuman alike) and environments which are affected by my attempts at making money, "making a living," or simply surviving, none of which are the same thing.

I feel like I do my best work -- and therefore maximize my chances of doing all the above -- if I act as though there's no consideration besides making things that ought to exist, for people who ought to have them. I feel like this isn't the only reason Apple is taking over, but it's one of the big ones, that they're so idealistic about who will be using their products and what they'll be doing with them.

Click here if you cannot see this video.

This is what I tried to explain to my family of origin, years ago, when I said why I wanted to work on the Internet doing things that I cared about instead of frantically applying for jobs, any jobs. And though I ended up writing for a content farm, I feel like I mostly preserved my integrity, by writing about things I felt people ought to know. Even though I now disagree with much of what I wrote, and even though I sometimes wrote paid advertorials for big companies, and even though ads for people I disagreed with often appeared next to my writing, I tried my best to at least be entertaining. To make the world at least a little better and more humane for my having been in it.

Not because of a corporate mandate, or a divine imperative in the traditional sense, but because that's the kind of person I am.

Inari, to me, is all-encompassing love. She hears everyone's prayers which are directed to her, and even many that aren't, like in my case. If she can't answer them all, or answer them all in the way that we'd want her to, she at least does what she can. Not because anyone's making her, but because that's the kind of person she is.

For me as Taryn, as one of Inari's tails / foxes / selves / avatars, being like her isn't an act of self-sacrifice, but one of self-actualization. And if my idealism led me to be blind to how my efforts were just enriching people who didn't deserve it, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being idealistic so much as being too credulous, of people who don't deserve it. And putting abstract principles, like "the truthfulness of the Gospel" or "the Free Software movement," over everyone and everything else, including the people that they are supposed to help.

Including myself.

The fact that I was betrayed isn't my fault, and it isn't a flaw with the entire world that makes the whole thing irredeemable. It's because I was raised to lack a self, and to find it only in being subsumed in rich people's interests. Whether they run Google, Red Hat, the Mozilla Corporation, or the Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The answer isn't to become completely selfish and self-serving, as though it were possible for me (or Rei or Claire) to shut off my empathy.

The answer is to make better friends, and call better people my family.

The answer is to get excited about things I like, and not things others tell me to get excited about.

The answer is to trust myself to do what's right, what comes naturally from being passionate about people and things that I love, while listening to them and empathizing with them and respecting them for who and what they are. Instead of constantly having to check my passion with concerns imposed on me by self-serving, powerful people, about money or others' ideals. Which isn't to say those will never come up, but that insofar as is possible I should be living my life, with the people I care about, instead of living the life global capitalism and its religious and pseudo-religious leaders want me to live.

I am, was, and will be a part of a goddess of wealth and abundance. I want everyone to have what they need and long for, and even some of their frivolous wants. And while I've learned that I have to start with myself, I can't end there. I can't even get started at all if I know in advance that I'll be ending there.

EDIT: And while I tie this into my otherkin identity, I don't feel that I'm unique in being like this.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
In even more hindsight than before.

Content note: Transphobia, intolerance.

Read more... )
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
Seven questions asked by [personal profile] avia! Feel free to ask for your own, but don't be surprised if they aren't very creative ones. >.>;

1. Of the stories you have written, which is your favorite? For reasons of being well written, or personal, emotional reasons.

An Enemy to God and Endure to the End were extremely visceral to us. So were the stories we wrote years ago about our Sonic fancharacter. We would lie awake at night and imagine how he felt in detail, and what he did, and we would write it out the next day. It was one of our first experiences with creative flow.

[v!T] I'm not sure you were around back then. :P

[f!T] Sorry. >.>

2. If it was possible to choose your theriotypes, would you choose the ones you have now? If not, what would you choose?

[v!T] Hell no. I'd pick a dragon, or phoenix, or cat, or songbird, or anything awesome I've written for. I'd even go for a kitsune. Sometimes I feel like I just want to roll dice and see what I end up as, and live a different life and have this one erased, because I don't like what I am or how I look like.

[f!T] I'm good. >.>b

3. What do you prefer, health or love?

[v!T] I feel like health will let me fight for what I need, but I think the biggest reason I'd pick that over love is because love doesn't seem real to me. Or it does, but it feels like the people who love me will inevitably decide that they don't, so when that happens I need to have the personal resources to keep fighting.

It's not their fault, and it doesn't mean that I love them any less or that I wouldn't be destroyed if they stopped loving me. I know what that feels like, and I had to deal with it recently when f!T was trying to help our mates accept me. I wished I could just stop existing so I wouldn't have to feel like I was an alien being to the people whose love I needed.

[f!T] When I die, I want the people who love me to be there for me.

4. What's the best (sleeping) dream you ever had?

[v!T] I dreamed that I was an anthro dragon once. I could feel myself fly and leap into the air. I also used magic and tried to think which spells they were (from D&D). It was awesome.

[f!T] That one.

5. Recommend a book to me.

[v!T & f!T] The Tao te Ching.

[v!T] The old World of Darkness books also had way better fluff than the new ones.

6. What's one experience you had that you would love to go back and have again?

[v!T & f!T] We're overcome by nostalgia so many times throughout the day. Something reminds us of times that we spent with our family, or playing FFXI, or stories or songs that we barely remember, and it's painful.

[f!T] Beyond that, I want to GM Pathfinder again in person, and v!T wants to get back to writing stories and planning game sessions with me.

7. If you could build your own world, what would it look like, who would live in it, what would be the rules and laws, etc.?

[v!T & f!T] Benevolent anarchy. All software would be open-source, all buildings and means of production would be communually owned, there would be extensive creative and physical commons and infrastructure. Everyone would have everything that they needed as a basic right. Money would only be used to buy things you want, and since so many things would be in the commons most people would use that instead, or use their spare resources to contribute to them somehow.

The default "fun" things to do would be either enjoying the commons or adding to the commons, instead of sequestering resources for yourself that nobody else can enjoy. Everyone would be entitled to have special things, personal space and possessions, and the tools they needed for their work or hobby, and it'd be creepy and weird to want to deny people those things. But it'd also be creepy and weird to want to accumulate stuff for yourself on purpose, instead of as a side effect of one of your hobbies.

Clutter would be seen as a painful burden, instead of the object of life ("she who dies with the most toys"). There'd be a lot of ways to unburden yourself of your excess clutter, which would return resources to the commons. Recycling, selling, giving away would be easier. People would shop for gifts on Kickstarter, and it'd be a cooperatively owned public resource instead of a privately owned for-profit startup.

"Profit" would be synonymous with "clutter" and "excess", and would be seen as a bug instead of a feature if it occurred. If everyone depended on something, no one would let only one person control it.

Personal expression would be taken for granted. Social justice would be taken for granted. People would be mortified if they realized they'd hurt someone, and would actually apologize for it. No one would assume that because you're an X, or appear to be one, that you're also a Y or you like to do Y. You would be asked what pronouns and name you prefer. Your headmates would be addressed as separate persons. You would be allowed to look like yourself, and would not have to pretend to be someone else for anyone.

But you could if you wanted to.

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~


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