jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

Content note: Mostly-positive talk about body image and issues, MtF gender transitioning, family, society, and moving.

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Question: Should I post pics? Trans girls do that on Twitter and Tumblr and stuff, right? I'd probably make the pics access-locked, but I thought I should do an interest check first.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

Content note: Political violence, physical violence, and why I feel using the latter to combat the former will get us all killed. Or at least, all of us whose bodies are politicized.

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tl;dr

If you're an abled white man, we don't need you to punch Nazis for us. The Nazis can and will take out their anger on more vulnerable targets. What we need is for you to pick one of the battles we're waging, and use your power and privilege to shield us. Either give what we need to keep fighting, or find out where the line of fire is and get in the way. In MMO terms, we're cycling DoTs on the raid boss, but we need you to heal, buff, and tank for us.

(MMORPGs are a much better lens to view a group struggle through than solo shooter / adventure games, because anyone who's worked with seventeen other people to clear Dynamis knows what happens when someone refuses to listen, or makes the run all about them.)

Nazis talk tough and collect firearms, but they're fucking cowards. All bullies are. Just look at how scared they are of trans, female, and/or PoC bodies, let alone yours! If you make it clear you oppose them, you don't need to throw punches to get them to back down. Most of the time, all you need to do is tell them to fuck off. Just make sure we're okay, afterwards, and that you listen when we say what we need.

Donate to the Standing Rock Water Protectors.

Miscellany

Jul. 29th, 2016 05:37 am
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

I haven't been updating this enough. But the stuff I've been reading online lately is extremely depressing, so I figured I ought to spend more time on things like Dreamwidth and AO3 maybe. >_>

So.

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That's about all, I guess. Except that if anyone has any SU fanfic recs, or just things that they'd like to share with us, we'd be more than happy to hear them.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

Here is an idea based on something I heard on Twitter.

Let's make it so I can get hormone therapy after an over-the-counter blood test and a one-week waiting period. In exchange, let's make it so that in order to have a gun, you have to see a therapist for several months and talk over why exactly you want one. Before waiting up to a year to see a government-licensed gunsmith, and being prescribed a small-calibre firearm and a limited supply of ammo for target shooting.

A few months later, if no one's been injured, they may prescribe you a slightly larger-calibre device.

Your ammunition purchases go into your medical record, and naturally you have to pay for all of this yourself, even if you have insurance or medicare.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

I didn't write that earlier post from the viewpoint of a trans woman who's scared for her safety, because "bathroom laws" do not target me. They don't target trans people in general, or even trans women in general. The only people they target are those who look or sound stereotypically "between genders," whether or not they pose any danger to anyone.

I've apparently never been one of those people. Just out of sheer luck, I was born with lightly-coloured body hair and "feminine" facial features. So with a bit of invisible makeup and a growing, immature bust, I have never had someone even look at me funny in the women's room.

That didn't keep me from being mortally terrified of the place, though, and waiting until long after I was on hormones to go there. So what did happen was that I caused an awful lot of double-takes in the men's room, both before and during transition. ^^; Especially from elderly men and little kids.

"Who she, daddy? Who she???"

I'd be washing my hands, and people would open the door and just stop, looking at the back of my head and trying to figure out where they were. Sometimes they abruptly backed out, letting the door shut again. Were they making sure this was the right one? Did it seem easier to them to let this obviously-confused woman dry her hands and walk out, than to confront her?

Not that I've never been confronted about it. One time I tried to step into the men's room at a convenience store, and the clerk stopped me and gave me a weird look. (I sheepishly went in the women's room, which had a lock on the door, thank goddess.) Another time I was waiting in line at a bus stop's public restroom, and realized the guy behind me in line was trying to get my attention.

"Hey, you can't go in there! The women's room is that way." He pointed it out for me, helpfully.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, turning to face him and using my pre-transition voice on purpose.

"Oh, sorry man!"

I avoided that bathroom from then on. >_>;

Remember, it's the law!

If you take these new "bathroom laws" literally, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Making guys trip over themselves, and giving somebody's grandpa a heart attack.

None of the laws' supporters actually want me to do that, though. This is because, like I said, they don't target me. These people don't spare any thoughts when they see me in public, because I don't look like "one of those people." I really don't know how I feel about this! But again, it's not about me, except that my existence helps make it obvious what this is really about:

All they want is to be able to bully people whose looks they don't like.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

It was a mistake for me to wait to go on hormones until early this year. I feel so much better about myself, my place in the world, socializing, everything.

My life isn't perfect; I still have some very big stressors to deal with, sometimes, and ways in which I don't sufficiently respect my selves. But I feel more at peace, more often, than ever before. I'm not in conflict with my selves anymore, like I was in the anguished journal entries from ten years ago.

I feel like we're crawling out of our cocoon, and starting to spread our wings.

I hope things continue to get better.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

A lot of people, when they start to transition genders physically and socially, have to do so "on the fly," so to speak. Meaning they have to transform their bodies and lives while they're living (in) them, holding down jobs or studying or taking care of their families.

I personally don't have to do this (and folded quickly the last time I tried). With my family of choice taking extremely good care of me, I have only two jobs right now: Recover from PTSD, and transition genders. Or in other words, paint miniatures and grow breasts.

I am succeeding at at least one of these things.

Not NSFW this time but may be TMI if you don't want to read about Jewelfox's feelings and boobs )

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

And get this update written before we collapse ...

(Content note: Personal and slightly TMI-ish discussion of physically transitioning genders.)

Despite some kind of "hairy Benjamin standards of care" gatekeeping stuff, along with some painful blood-drawing and unexpected (and painful) groping between our legs >_o we apparently S-ranked our first hormone appointment thing.

Which was today.

Which we announced that it was in a post that was locked at the time, so that we wouldn't get stalked and our parents of origin wouldn't freak out and order a tactical nuclear strike on the apartment complex or something. Because unlike our heart, soul, romantic love, and creative writing endeavours, our primary and secondary sexual characteristics are very important to them, and there is no telling what lengths they will go to in order to terrorize us for thinking we own our "sacred parts" instead of having them on loan from God.

AHEM.

Anyway, the lab results from those huge vials of blood that they drew from our arm will be in a couple weeks from now, at which point we will hopefully be prescribed the synthetic estrogen we need to achieve a fuller physical / mental / emotional gender transition. Which apparently has its ups and downs, especially those last two. So if you're playing Magic against us sometime next month, and we suddenly burst into tears and exclaim stuff like "These lyrics are soooo deep ;; " ... don't say we didn't warn you!

... of course, if we don't get a prescription at that point, we may just burst into tears regardless.

So, how's life treating you all? >_>

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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