jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)

... who believe in one fewer god.

That's how [personal profile] aliaspseudonym summed up the discussion I had last night with someone from FFXIV, which prompted a friends-locked ragepost right afterwards. Please note that the "Christians" being compared to here are the non-pluralistic ones, who believe there's only one real god and only one right way to relate to him.

Content note: Homophobia, theophobia, being angry, and swears, all behind the cut. Click here to skip if you are reading the entry by itself.

Read more... )

I think that getting angry, then thinking more calmly about it, and continuing to maintain my boundaries and not see myself as the problem, is the healthiest response I've had to being comprehensively invalidated in awhile.

At the same time, though, this whole thing was an unpleasant reminder that I don't get to pretend to be normal. I thought I could, I really hoped that I could, but I'm one of the "monsters" that [personal profile] avia talks about. Who can't be understood or accepted, if anyone sees what she is. Not by society at large; not even by supposedly progressive sectors of society like the LGBT-friendly Free Company I was in, in FFXIV.

(Please note that during the conversation, this person also said stuff that was blindingly offensive and ignorant, about neurodiverse people and plural systems.)

I'm not tying myself to a Free Company, or another club or guild organization, unless it's a small group of friends like the people that I know on Dreamwidth. I'm tired of being triggered every day, and not knowing how to escape except by logging out. I don't think I get to have that experience, of feeling camaraderie and acceptance with large groups of people, and I think I'm okay with that. Because I would rather hold out for people who accept me, than erase "unacceptable" parts of myself to have friends (as opposed to purely professional relationships).

I am going to ****ing platinum that game, and I am going to do it my way.

jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
[personal profile] avia, on my "Why I appropriate" essay:
It's an unpopular opinion, but I do agree about how in some ways it is harder for otherkin, too. In some ways, it is easier, a lot easier. We don't have to worry we will be beaten for walking down the street. But also, some of those ways that it is easier, are because of the things we don't have access to that non-otherkin, trans* people do. Like any kind of understanding or knowledge from mainstream people (trans* people don't have a lot, but, you have some, in liberal places... you can go to a transgender support clinic but you can't go to an otherkin one), or surgery.

If otherkin could get surgery to look like their kintype, I can almost guarantee that the hate, fear, murders, and religious groups saying "these people have been corrupted by Satan" will come down so fast, there won't be time to say "I told you so".

I would give anything to have a condition that surgery could fix, or even partly fix. Even if I never had the money to do it. Just knowing that it's possible, would be a huge source of hope for me, instead of the weight hanging over my head that I could never have it. It would put me more at risk, but I would take that over "your problems don't even exist", and the different kind of abuse that comes from that.
For the record, we don't experience species dysphoria -- at least as far as our appearance -- as much as Avia seems to. f!T is a reverse antherian, a fox allowed to live as a human via possession, while v!T feels she may be a human who was forced to become her species. (A specific human, but she's not sure she's ready to talk about that.) We both acknowledge nonhuman identity, but don't feel the need to change our appearance to match quite so much, at least not at this time.

It was a profound experience for us to see ourselves as a girl, and to be recognized as one without question in public. But even if otherkin could change their appearance, societal acceptance would probably lag very much, which is one reason most otherkin don't even try except in the most subtle ways. Fursuits are probably the closest thing (even if furries don't always accept otherkin), but they can't be worn for very long and they tend to require special circumstances to be brought out.

I am extremely grateful that I'm not in her situation. Because I remember what it was like to think I could never change, and it felt horrible.
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
In case you missed [personal profile] rev_yurodivy's last worldbuilding post, in which they described some of the deities in our world, they just wrote a new (much shorter) post in which they give ideas for how to make your own deity that fits into this world.

The main thing I'd like to add is that in the place that our campaign takes place -- a forested valley on the far side of the human lands from the lions -- most of the conflicts mentioned happened long ago and/or someplace else. This is more or less a quiet part of the world, where deities like [profile] redsixwings' badger god(dess) can find safe places for their followers. That's not to say that other powers can't encroach or new ones can't arise, though; [personal profile] avia's Church of Flight is one of the many new religions starting, and her character has already become a prophetess for it.

The humans and lions, of course, have much more simplistic views of the religious landscape.

How so? )
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
1. What made you choose a sparrow as your fursona before? It's very different from your actual species.

He was a tree swallow, actually. And it's a long story.

The first self-insert character I wrote was a peregrine falcon named Tachyon. He was a Tyke Bomb raised by the Big Bad, and was intended to be a villain. But somehow the story ended up exploring their abusive relationship more, and basically mirroring what I was going through with my family and church even though I didn't realize it at the time. I put a lot of myself into him, and he became the favorite of several of my readers.

When I became a furry I realized he was kind of my fursona already, but I was a vegetarian by then so I decided to look into changing him to a songbird instead of a raptor. I wasn't really sure what I was going for, until I saw an Audubon tree swallow plushie and was like <3

It wasn't long before I realized my tree swallow fursona was still masking who I was beneath. But then, that's because my whole identity was at the time.

2. If you could have one change to your body but only one (so, you can't have a whole body change, but, you can change one part), what is it?

If anyone's read the comments on our latest entry, you won't be surprised that we both want our reproductive system swapped out. phoenix!Taryn just wants hers to lay eggs.

p!T: I don't know what else I'd change. I want to be stronger, quicker, to have wings and claws and a tail. I want to be lithe and agile and fast, and unmistakeably lethal and powerful. I just don't think I can do all of that in one change.

f!T: I want to be a foxwoman more than a straightforward fox, and I'm okay with wearing ears and a tail. >.>b

3. Have you ever wanted a fursuit?

We want a quadsuit, badly. I'm not sure we even care what it is. >.>;

f!T: Maybe I liked being a four-legged fox more than I thought I did, or maybe I associate it with familiarity.

p!T: I just like the thought of using my forelimbs for movement. Somehow it feels more alive and responsive. I'm not sure I need to, though. An upright shape has its advantages.

4. In 24 hours, the situation from one of your Become Your Fursona stories is going to happen in reality. What story do you choose and what will you do?

Too late.

5. What is the best physical experience you ever had in life? (Going on a rollercoaster, skydiving, eating a really good dessert... etc.)


Let's just say that our kitty has been very helpful to us. <3

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~


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