jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
[personal profile] jewelfox

Content note: Mostly-positive talk about body image and issues, MtF gender transitioning, family, society, and moving.

So, the other day I went out and got fitted for a padded push-up bra.

Transformation complete?

We'd been doing a lot of shopping already, together with [tumblr.com profile] alias-pseudonym. We've been in our new apartment for less than a month; this is Alias' first experience with moving out since college, and I had to leave almost everything behind with [personal profile] chozomind since getting stuff up to Canada is prohibitively expensive. So it seems like every other day we're discovering something else that we should have gotten, or that we need to live on our own.

In the process, I've also been picking up (often secondhand) books and publications to learn about this new city and society, and we've also been buying clothes. Alias feels more comfortable doing clothes shopping when I'm around, it seems, while I've just recently realized that mori kei is a style that I really like. I feel a lot girlier in some of these new clothes ... and I think that it's in a good way.

I'm still not all that confident about how I look. I put on a lot of weight due to stress and anxiety, in the year or two after I came out (and lost my immediate family). Most of that, I still haven't lost.

At the same time, though, hormones have been very kind to me. My skin's a lot smoother, my face is even more femme than before, and I have few-to-no issues with body hair. Between that and getting the voice thing mostly down, I can go outside and run errands and things, and not be misgendered ever. The only thing I'm really disappointed in, right now, is my chest; it's not very noticeable, and it disappears completely when I wear a thick enough hoodie.

[personal profile] chozomind recommended the padded bra to help with that, and that's how I ended up getting sized and buying one the other day.

Technical specifications

I'm typically a B, in terms of bra size. But having as much stomach fat as I do, and wider shoulders than many girls, they kind of tend to disappear, like I said.

With this padding I'm up to more like a C, instantly and with minimal discomfort. It's very noticeable, and as such I'm really self-conscious about it. How can it be okay for me to go outside with visible breasts? It feels like someone is going to catch me and punish me for it.

In Mormon culture, if your breasts are too big you're in trouble, even if you're a cisgirl. The people you go to school with will send you passive-aggressive notes about how you need to dress more "modestly." You're causing pantsfeelings in (some) guys, and they're your fault and you ought to wear baggier clothes and not look so feminine.

But today I was able to walk to a games store on my own, and join in a pick-up RPG for 3+ hours. And from the time I left home to the time I came back, no one misgendered me, hit on me, stared at my chest (that I saw), or did anything else to make me feel unwelcome.

Part of that may just be this city and that game store's culture. Part of that's just a reminder of how lucky I am, to be short and have feminine features and look very much like a girl without hormones or padding. But either way, it's just mind-blowing that I can change how I look and it's okay.

Even when I get turned on, sometimes, by what I see in the mirror. ^^;

Question: Should I post pics? Trans girls do that on Twitter and Tumblr and stuff, right? I'd probably make the pics access-locked, but I thought I should do an interest check first.

Date: 2017-07-27 07:41 am (UTC)
alatefeline: Painting of a cat asleep on a book. (Default)
From: [personal profile] alatefeline
Yay! I'm so happy that you are having these positive experiences. I'm here to witness and be cheering section for whatever you want someone to be present for, but what you share is up to you.

Date: 2017-07-27 02:46 pm (UTC)
redsixwing: Red-winged angel staring at a distant star. (Default)
From: [personal profile] redsixwing
How exciting! \o/

I'll cheer you on pics or no pics.

Date: 2017-07-27 02:52 pm (UTC)
brainwane: My smiling face, including a small gold bindi (Default)
From: [personal profile] brainwane
Happy for you!

Date: 2017-07-28 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] blackswanseer
I'm glad you had such a good day!

I have broad shoulders and smallish chest, and find that shirts that are sewn to come in more at the waist or with fabric that drapes more, tends to help me not look like a rectangle. Things like straight up and down tunics don't work for me at all. Dolman sleeves often help too, if the shirt is of a drapey-type fabric.

On pics: only if you feel comfortable and want to! Some people love posting pics online, others very much don't. I figure, it's up to the person to decide what feels right to them*nod*

Date: 2017-07-29 12:28 am (UTC)
sophie: A cartoon-like representation of a girl standing on a hill, with brown hair, blue eyes, a flowery top, and blue skirt. ☀ (Default)
From: [personal profile] sophie
Getting fitted for a bra is something of a rite of passage for both cis and trans people, and for the same reasons. Good going. :)

Filter-wise, I'm happy to be on whatever you would be comfortable with having me on. I'd love to see whatever you chose to share. I agree with [personal profile] blackswanseer - I'd want y'all to feel comfortable with it.

Date: 2017-07-29 05:59 pm (UTC)
feralkiss: Clouded leopard walking up to the viewer, intense look and tongue licking its lips. (Default)
From: [personal profile] feralkiss
Really happy for you about all the positive changes! ^^ And, yeah sure! Would love to see pics if you wanted to share any.

Date: 2017-07-29 06:04 pm (UTC)
feralkiss: Clouded leopard walking up to the viewer, intense look and tongue licking its lips. (Default)
From: [personal profile] feralkiss
The way I read "come in more at the waist", I believe: the shirt should make a curve to emphasize your own curves, ie. narrower around the waist and flaring larger around your hips, rather than a straight cut.

That's the way most women's tees are cut (as opposed to men's apparel), you can verify this in most stores off and online (RedBubble, Threadless, ...).

(I used to have small breasts, so. Kinda had the same issues of trying to make them more visible when I was trying to look feminine; though I have a small frame.)

Date: 2017-08-09 03:50 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] blackswanseer
Apologies for the delay, there's a bunch of Stuff going on and I was also dithering around trying to think of how best to describe this. I'm not familiar with enough sewing terms I think!^^:

I'd say it comes down to two factors: cut/style and fabric.

Fabric: Many of the shirts that work well for me, say they are a blend of polyester and a tiny bit of spandex. They fit at my waist, but don't cling to everything. This should help with belly visibility issues at least some. To avoid cling and emphasizing things you don't want to, avoid spandex/rayon blends.

Cut: Not a fan of this colour scheme for myself, but this is a pic of the sort of shirt I find shows off the waist in a good way: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/alfani-petite-printed-ruched-sleeve-top-created-for-macys?ID=4493127&CategoryID=255&LinkType=&selectedSize=&EFCKEY=%7B%7D&SEED=-4580936387012062745#fn=BRAND%3DAlfani%26sp%3D3%26spc%3D356%26ruleId%3D78|BS|BA%26slotId%3D165 It has ruching at side that helps bring it in (that gathered section you can see better in the close up). So that'd be something you might look for. I have a fair few shirts of that style and really like them.

Princess seams are another thing to look for that brings things in to one's figure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princess_seams If you don't get clingy fabrics, you can still do well even if you want to avoid highlighting the belly area. Princess seaming, I think by the nature of it, is generally going to show up on less clingy fabric anyway.

Some examples of dolman sleeves: http://www.houseofdap.com/dolman-sleeve-tops-are-they-for-you/ I've found that, depending on the overall shirt, they seem to 'blend' my shoulders into the rest of my body a little better.

I personally tend to avoid cap sleeves (e.g. https://www.jiffyshirts.com/bellacanvas-B8705.html?ac=Black&source=google_shopping&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItOCnnZ7J1QIVRIezCh1Ahwb1EAQYBCABEgL_VfD_BwE ) because of how broad my shoulders are.

Women's button down shirts can be an issue for broad shoulders in many cases, since they tend to be pretty tailored and the fabric is often stiffer types. I always make sure I can lift my arms comfortably and that the shirt isn't pulling apart between the buttons when I did so. If it gapes there, the shirt doesn't fit.

I hope at least some of that helps!

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