jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
[personal profile] jewelfox

So have some cute pride dragons! You may have seen them on Flight Rising. Collect them all, and just think how much less colourful that page would be if we only celebrated certain identities.

(My favourites, of course, are the pansexual, transgender, and transfeminine ones.)

Anyway, while you are doing that, I'll be over here being a nervous wreck. ^^;

I got ganged up on and bullied for being transfeminine not too long ago; I was driven off of a forum and almost out of a hobby by someone else who hates trans women; I'm terrified of expressing my sexuality even in times and places (or fanfics) that are appropriate for it; and I have to go into hell a very unpleasant city next week to find out if the medical treatments that allow me to live are killing me or not.

When am I supposed to find time to be proud of being an endangered minority? Mostly I'm just really grateful for being allowed to have basic things, like clothing and medicine and correct pronouns. And acutely aware that there are people who are so squicked out, by what they think I have in my pants, that I don't just stop being a girl to them when they find out. I stop being a person to them altogether.

They could be doctors, in-laws, retail store clerks, or people I challenge to pickup games of Warmachine, and they could get away with literal murder by using my genitals as their defence. Because that's all I am to them, is my genitals.

It terrifies me.

... I will say, however, that it's a lot easier to accept that you're a girl who likes girls when you were brought up to think liking girls is okay. Liking guys, or people with male-gendered anatomy, still feels transgressive and scary to me, though. I'm trying to get over that, and remind myself that these feelings are healthy and natural and it's okay for me to express them. And that I didn't choose to have them to begin with.

Okay, rant over I guess.

Date: 2016-06-09 04:24 pm (UTC)
redsixwing: Picture shows a red-winged angel staring at a distant blue star. (Default)
From: [personal profile] redsixwing
Those are indeed lovely dragons.

*hugs* and soft things. I hope the appointment goes well and the anxiety backs off.

Date: 2016-06-09 05:28 pm (UTC)
redsixwing: Picture shows a red-winged angel staring at a distant blue star. (Default)
From: [personal profile] redsixwing
We're doing well, thank you. n_nb

Date: 2016-06-09 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] blackswanseer
Best of luck at your appointment!!

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

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