I shouldn't have to say this, but the following is a parody, that I found on another forum.
Content note: If you know any out-there homophobic conspiracy theorists, this is probably what they've told you they're afraid of!
It's been a week since the Judge's ruling in Utah made gay marriage legal and I'm sorry to report that the entire state of Utah is a desolate wasteland.
The first thing that happened was all heterosexual couples marriages became invalid in the entire state. So right away my wife and I ran to the court house to update our nuptials and the court house was in utter chaos. The line of gay couples went out the door and there was no separate but equal heterosexual lines for the normal couples. After waiting hours in line a clerical error occurred, probably because the County Clerk was a Democrat, and I was married to a gay man and my wife was married into a polygamist family. We are now both required by federal law to live out the rest of out lives in this manner.
Next, all Christian churches and Mormon temples were forced to preform gay marriages. Not only this, but all churches were forced by federal law to change their doctrine on gay marriage. Last Sunday my husband and I even learned in Sunday School that all mention of homosexuality through out the Bible have been removed and in fact were really never there to begin with. There is even rumors that soon only black gay men will be the only ones allowed to have the priesthood in the future.
Even Christmas Day was found unconstitutional and now it's to be called Holiday Day, any mention of Christ will be an automatic fine.
Finally, crime, prostitution and drugs have taken over the state. Since the state and it's people became completely morally bankrupt last week, now all other sins are on the rise. We can't even protect ourselves from the new waves of criminals since the 2nd Amendment was also found unconstitutional by the same Socialist activist judge. My new husband and I are now locked up in our apartment waiting for the end of the world. Our only hope is to run to the border of Idaho. We plan in leaving at sun down, wish us luck.
My favourite part is Holiday Day. Although rev_yurodivy read "automatic fine" as "automatic fire."
Apparently, the precedent the federal judge used to overturn Utah's same-sex marriage ban is the same one that was established with the overturn of Prop 8.
So if the Mormons hadn't fought so hard to destroy other people's marriages, this never would've happened in the first place.
Schadenfreude. I haz it.