jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Today I read a Q&A that went something like:

Q. Is it possible for one of my fantasy harpies to be transgender when they're an all-female species? Isn't that like a human who thinks he's an elf???

A. Of course it's possible, because gender isn't the same as physical sex. Write your own fluff to explain if it makes you feel better.

This is going to sound melodramatic, but the answer that my heart was aching to hear was "who are you to tell [PLAYER] what body their character would prefer?"

Yelling, swearing, angry depressive rant. )

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

In early October, we'll be seeing the doctor to hopefully get exogenous estrogen.

We've heard a lot of conflicting things about it: it doesn't change a whole lot, it works miracles, it makes all your emotions extreme, it completely destroys your libido. All I can think is, after all the stories I've read and written about physical transformation I never expected that I'd undergo it myself. And it fills me with fear and wonder.

It's going to be expensive, because I don't have insurance. I think we've got it taken care of, but we may need to ask for help at some point. Hopefully we will have something to offer by then.

Thank you all for being there with us.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Posted on Jewelfox.org because the cross-posting's messed up a bit. Let me know what you think, maybe? It's also a transformation story, in between being (hopefully) easy-to-learn RPG rules.
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
I went out in public twice at Open Help while presenting as female, for lunch and dinner. The second time around involved a lot of walking around downtown Cincinnati, on sort of a tour by our host and to visit a local ice cream place after dinner (where I got a fruit sorbet).

Content note: Possible trans-related TMI.

Read more... )
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Because I've spent years exploring how scary, and dangerous, and stressful a physical transformation can be. And now that I'm going through one -- Goddess, I never, ever thought I would say that -- that's all I can think about. I fear everything that I wrote about. And it doesn't help that much of it's already happened.

I want to imagine a different way of changing. I want to imagine finding out that it's okay, that nobody minds, that it's creepy and weird to object. I want to imagine feeling confident that I am the thing I've become, and I don't need to convince anyone. I want to imagine feeling as grateful and awed as I have been when I look down at myself, or into the mirror, and not feeling scared that I will be punished for it.

I want someone to hug me and tell me that I'll be okay, and hold my hand as I'm going through very hard things.

I want to get through this and forget that I was ever someone else at all.

I want to experience that in a story, so I can tell myself that's how things will turn out in real life.
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Trigger warning for discussion of sexism, gender roles, transphobia, and experiences that may be hard to sympathize with for a transwoman who has trouble passing as female.



In many transformation stories, there's what some people call a "mirror scene," where the protagonist looks in a mirror and realizes what he or she has become.

I spent a long time imagining and trying to figure out how to word one for my personal character, back in my Sonic fanfiction days. He was a peregrine falcon who'd imprinted on the cat who raised him, and had a ton of species dysphoria; deep down, he didn't see himself as a raptor. And he wouldn't let himself, because he idealized them and felt like he didn't deserve to be one. Realizing that he really was one, and that it was okay to be what he saw in the mirror, was a major breakthrough for him.

At the time, I was a faithful Mormon, and the only lesson I let myself get out of that was that I should be happy being a male human. This was a huge struggle for me at the time, the gender dysphoria especially. It didn't matter how much I told myself that I should be comfortable in my own skin. It never happened.

Until a few days ago, when I tried on gender-appropriate clothing for the first time.

Read more... )
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
1. What made you choose a sparrow as your fursona before? It's very different from your actual species.

He was a tree swallow, actually. And it's a long story.

The first self-insert character I wrote was a peregrine falcon named Tachyon. He was a Tyke Bomb raised by the Big Bad, and was intended to be a villain. But somehow the story ended up exploring their abusive relationship more, and basically mirroring what I was going through with my family and church even though I didn't realize it at the time. I put a lot of myself into him, and he became the favorite of several of my readers.

When I became a furry I realized he was kind of my fursona already, but I was a vegetarian by then so I decided to look into changing him to a songbird instead of a raptor. I wasn't really sure what I was going for, until I saw an Audubon tree swallow plushie and was like <3

It wasn't long before I realized my tree swallow fursona was still masking who I was beneath. But then, that's because my whole identity was at the time.

2. If you could have one change to your body but only one (so, you can't have a whole body change, but, you can change one part), what is it?

If anyone's read the comments on our latest entry, you won't be surprised that we both want our reproductive system swapped out. phoenix!Taryn just wants hers to lay eggs.

p!T: I don't know what else I'd change. I want to be stronger, quicker, to have wings and claws and a tail. I want to be lithe and agile and fast, and unmistakeably lethal and powerful. I just don't think I can do all of that in one change.

f!T: I want to be a foxwoman more than a straightforward fox, and I'm okay with wearing ears and a tail. >.>b

3. Have you ever wanted a fursuit?

We want a quadsuit, badly. I'm not sure we even care what it is. >.>;

f!T: Maybe I liked being a four-legged fox more than I thought I did, or maybe I associate it with familiarity.

p!T: I just like the thought of using my forelimbs for movement. Somehow it feels more alive and responsive. I'm not sure I need to, though. An upright shape has its advantages.

4. In 24 hours, the situation from one of your Become Your Fursona stories is going to happen in reality. What story do you choose and what will you do?

Too late.

5. What is the best physical experience you ever had in life? (Going on a rollercoaster, skydiving, eating a really good dessert... etc.)

Um.

Let's just say that our kitty has been very helpful to us. <3

How to participate in the meme )

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

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