I hope that the people who fought so hard for this will now devote at least half as much energy to the struggle for recognition of transgender rights, including for non-binary trans folk, and marriage equality for those who love more than one person.
Because polyamorous partners still lack the protections and freedoms that same-gender couples now have in the States. And it is still both legal and socially acceptable to fire or evict transgender persons just for being transgender.
The people in the faith community I used to be a part of are scared of anything that could lead them to cheat on their spouses. Since they view any and all sexual or romantic activity which does not involve their spouse, including masturbation or flirting, as cheating, this leaves a lot of them emotionally stunted and sexually repressed.
Measures I've seen them take, and publicly recommend, to avoid "cheating" include:
Shared social media accounts and/or passwords. (Yes, they're among those who have the "couple" Facebook accounts.)
Draconian limits on Internet use.
Avoidance of being alone with -- or even close to -- a person of the opposite gender, to the point of employment discrimination so that they won't have to share an office with someone they find attractive.
I personally feel that anything which can be destroyed by love, friendship, and emotional closeness, probably should be destroyed. Whether it's a bad religion, a patriarchal society, or just an unhealthy relationship.
If you really love someone, you don't stop loving them just because you (or they) have found someone or something new to love. Whether it's a person, profession, or hobby. And I say this as someone with two autistic partners, who both have intense focus on interests which dominate their lives for months or years at a time.
I don't love them despite that, I love them partly because of it. I love seeing them come alive, with the same excitement we had for each other right when we declared our romantic intent. They're more fun to be around, and more fun to snuggle as well.
I'd have to lock them in boxes to keep them from finding new things to excite them. Sort of like what Mormon spouses are taught to do to each other.
Only a week in I knew I was in love with her, but it took me a few months to admit it. I was scared that I'd find out something bad about her. But it wasn't until we'd already been mates for maybe a year that she finally told me that she had a polyandry fetish. It took her like an hour of nervousness to finally admit it, and she was ashamed instantly; apologetic, and wishing she could take it back or make herself not feel that way.
I reacted like she'd come up to me with a guy on each shoulder, and told me that she won't be needing me anymore.
( Read more... )
We read this series of books called The Work and the Glory, historical fiction (emphasis on "fiction") about church history, and when it got to describing the polygamy part it's like the author knew the real story looked very bad to anyone who watched it. Because Joseph Smith did stuff like tell a 14-year-old girl that her parents' salvation depended on her sleeping with him, and when he got found out he told his wife in the name of God that she'd be "destroyed" if she didn't support him.
(That's section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants BTW.)
So when the author wrote about it, he turned it into a tragedy. For reasons unknown, God had commanded that his servant Joseph Smith do this. And the Prophet didn't want to, but after he'd refused several times God sent an angel with a flaming sword to kill him if he didn't do it, just like in Smith's account. Somehow this was all connected with the doctrine of eternal marriage, in the author's telling of the story, which was a retcon to appeal to modern Mormon sensibilities and teachings.
I admit, I had a crisis of faith while I was reading it. I finally decided the author was right; if Joseph Smith really was a prophet of God, and this really was God's true church, then this had to have been how things played out. Because this is how good people react to the idea of sleeping around and claiming so many partners: They're scared and they don't want to do it.
( Read more... )