jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Tamamo-no-Mae is perhaps the most famous -- and tragic -- foxwoman in Japanese folklore. Variations on her story have been told and retold, the gist of which is that she was a kitsune (fox) who took on human form and became the Emperor's courtesan. But she was found out by an onmyōji (magician), declared to be the cause of the Emperor's illness, and chased out to the plains of Nasu and killed.

The retelling of her story in Fate/EXTRA, a visual novel / roleplaying game for the PlayStation Portable, is especially stark. In it, she grows up as a human and does not even realize that she is a fox until her ears suddenly sprout from her head. She manages to conceal them for an entire month, before being found out.

Here are some excerpts from the scene where she tells the player character her life story:

Pictures, transcripts, and discussion of transphobic violence behind cut )

Miscellany

Jul. 29th, 2016 05:37 am
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I haven't been updating this enough. But the stuff I've been reading online lately is extremely depressing, so I figured I ought to spend more time on things like Dreamwidth and AO3 maybe. >_>

So.

Read more... )

That's about all, I guess. Except that if anyone has any SU fanfic recs, or just things that they'd like to share with us, we'd be more than happy to hear them.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

As of a few hours ago, we evolved from "girlfriend" to "fiancée," and our Societal Acceptance increased by 2 points.

Now it's time to figure out what tabletop games to play at the wedding, and what models should be the cake toppers! We already have ours picked out, of course.

A painted metal model of a kitsune shrine maiden, wearing goggles and carrying a staff and a lantern.

Coral Leafbreak was painted by the [tumblr.com profile] kamitale studio artist.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

From the English-language Wikipedia page on kitsune:

"In classical Japanese, kitsu-ne means come and sleep, and ki-tsune means always comes."

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Mythic is a roleplaying game, or a game about taking on the role of a character. The character you play as in Mythic is a creature of legend, from Chinese dragons to Biblical seraphim. You can choose pretty much any kind to play as, and you can make your character's abilities true to historical lore or base them on movie or video game characters.

In order to use your mythical powers, you need to draw on sources of Faith, which can be anything that affirms or is part of your Mythos -- a set of beliefs about how the world works, which all of your powers are based on. A fey creature might commune with a sacred forest, for instance, while a guardian angel draws strength from the prayers of a child. Meanwhile, a woman with "fake" fox ears and a tail might carry a mysterious jewel at all times.

The one thing that all Mythic characters have in common is that they appear to be fully human (or object, or animal). Some of them actually are human, at least some of the time. But whatever you normally look like, through an act of will you can manifest your true nature for a short time, inspiring awe and leaving no doubt as to what you actually are ... at least, to anyone familiar with the stories that make up your mythos. It's up to you what this looks and sounds like, from the infernal heat and damned wailing that heralds a demon's ascent to the shredded clothes and ear-splitting howl of a werewolf's transformation.

While your nature is manifest, you can use your powers without spending faith, and you can draw on an additional reservoir of power to do things no ordinary person can. But the more you draw on it, the worse the consequences are for you and the people around you. You may become a "corrupted" version of yourself, accidentally kill or injure a person you care about, or even break the foundations of reality.

Read more... )

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Without a permission slip, I mean boon. Source.

The good news? Now I don't have to worry about scrounging another boon if my character dies. Kitsune all the way!

The bad news? I traded away my get-out-of-death-free boon for nothing. :(

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Step 1. Pick up a copy of the Pathfinder Player Companion: Blood of the Moon, at your friendly local games store. It, another softcover Player Companion, and the contents of the Beginner Box are the only Pathfinder books that you own.

Step 2. Discover the Lunar mystery for Oracles. Decide that it looks neat. However, it’s for a class that your books don’t cover, and it grants a lot of weird spells.

Step 3. Discover the following paragraph right at the start of the book:

Transcript

This Pathfinder Player Companion refers to several other Pathfinder Roleplaying Game products and uses the following abbreviations. These books are not required to make use of this Player Companion. Readers interested in references to Pathfinder RPG hardcovers can find the complete rules from these books available for free at Paizo.com/prd.

Step 4. Go online and get the rules you need to play your character. Show up at the Pathfinder event your friend told you about, at your local games store, with a Lunar Oracle.

Step 5. Confess that you’d much rather be playing a Kitsune.

Step 6. Find out that Kitsune do in fact exist, and are in fact a legit choice for Pathfinder Society. However, you need to have a “boon,” which is essentially a signed permission slip from your parents, I mean the Venture-Captains, saying you’re allowed to play a fox instead of a crow. The only ways to get these are to go to a convention in another state, which you wouldn’t be able to afford unless you sold your own body parts, or to go to a certain thread on the Paizo forums to trade a different boon for the Kitsune one.

Step 7. Remember that you have an honest-to-Daikitsu signed “get out of death free” boon because you participated in the Beginner Box Bash a few years ago.

Step 8. Offer it up for trade, and get a response surprisingly quick.

Step 9. Receive, via US mail, a sheet of paper that looks suspiciously like a photocopy or computer printout, which contains the following sentence:

This Chronicle sheet must be the first Chronicle sheet for the given character, and you must bring a copy of one of the above-listed rulesbooks [the Advanced Race Guide or the Dragon Empires Gazetteer] to all sessions in which you play this character as if access to this race selection were granted by the Additional Resources list.

Step 10. Ask yourself, “WTF is the Additional Resources list?”

Step 11. Oh.

Step 12. Read the following sentence from that link:

In order to utilize content from an Additional Resource, a player must have a physical copy of the Additional Resource in question, a name-watermarked Paizo PDF of it, or a printout of the relevant pages from it, as well as a copy of the current version of the Additional Resources list.

Step 13. Track down all the books that you need to duplicate the content relevant to your character from the Pathfinder Reference Document, which is an official resource published by Paizo itself and explicitly endorsed by a prominent paragraph on page 1 of Blood of the Moon, which says that those books are not required to use it.

Breakdown of expenses:

  • Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Core Rulebook. Rules for creating and playing a character. Not required; your GM is assumed to own a copy.

  • Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Bestiary. Game stats for the animal companion one of your revelations grants, and for creatures that your spells can summon. Not required; your GM is assumed to own a copy.

  • Advanced Player’s Guide. Game stats for playing an Oracle, and for three of the spells in the Lunar mystery’s list. $40 for a new hardcover, $30 non-mint, $10 for PDF.

  • Advanced Race Guide. Game stats for playing a Kitsune, along with the awesome Magical Tail feat. $40 for a new hardcover, $30 non-mint, $10 for PDF.

  • Ultimate Magic. Game stats for four of the spells on the Lunar mystery’s list, the first of which you obtain at level 2 after three sessions of play. $40 for a new hardcover, $30 non-mint, $10 for PDF.

  • Ultimate Combat. Game stats for one of the spells on the Lunar mystery’s list. $40 for a new hardcover, $30 non-mint, $10 for PDF.

Step 14. Realize that you have to pay a minimum of $40 to play a character you like, using rules that you bought and paid for and contained a large notice from Paizo itself telling you where to fill in the blanks. These PDFs would contain a prominent watermark with your email address, which is not information you want to disclose to men that you're casually acquainted with. Adding insult to injury, the PDFs themselves would be basically worthless for tableside reference, because it’d take much longer to look up rules text in them compared to in the PRD, on your phone. Even though that is the stated reason why you have to bring them on the Additional Resources page:

[…] we cannot assume that every Game Master will have the products listed below. As such, it's up to players to bring these items in order to familiarize their Game Masters with the rules.

Step 15. Realize that if your Kitsune character ever dies, you’re going to have to go back and repeat the whole process of finding another boon, if you want those $40 worth of PDFs that you don’t want to buy to do you any good.

Step 16. Go on the Paizo.com messageboards, to see if there’s any sign of the PRD being added as a legit “additional resource.”

Step 17. Find a ton of people like (and like-ing) this guy, who condescend to people who asked about it, dictate their own priorities to them, blame Paizo’s mixed messaging on them, ignore the fact that Paizo’s policies burden some players a lot more than others, and in general infantilize and insult them even more than Paizo already does by requiring things like signed permission slips.

Step 18. Give up and play other games instead, using books that you bought at the local games store that welcomes you and treats you like a person, instead of PDFs that you bought online from a company that doesn’t.

This is only a partly fictionalized account. I already knew about Kitsune and the Additional Resources list going in. What I didn’t know was that there’s a boon trading thread (i.e. that I had any hope of playing a Kitsune ever), and that newer Pathfinder Player Companions were explicitly telling people to go to the PRD to fill in the blanks, instead of burying the reference in legal text like they used to. So I tried to imagine what it would be like, for a newb to go into it this way.

Also, I’m still playing in Pathfinder Society, and buying Pathfinder Player Companions that I think are cool and want to use for my character (like the Animal Archive), instead of selling my Pathfinder stuff on eBay.

Why?

Because my PFS GM lets me use the PRD.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

This weekend was not fun, to the point where our laptop's hard drive failing last night is perhaps the least stressful thing that happened.

Fortunately, [personal profile] burning_ground just happened to have a spare laptop-sized hard drive in the same capacity laying around. >_>b And we haven't lost any data so far, that we know of, although we're frantically backing stuff up at the moment. Aaand we're going to see our psychiatrist today, and hopefully get drugged up to the gills to prevent this from happening again. The bad responses to triggers, I mean, not hard drive failure.

Also we just started playing in Pathfinder Society, since a friend offered us a ride back from the store, and while Kitsune characters are restricted to people with a signed permission slip (seriously wtf) we've arranged to trade with someone online to get one, and are going to be playing a Totally Not Korean "Kitsune" Lunar Oracle who may or may not like the taste of humanoid liver.

Also Kobo just launched their Windows Phone app. *glee*

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
[veloci!Taryn]

Strong physical sensations. A need to move quickly, to run and jump. Instinctive responses to hostility; hissing, displaying claws, assuming a threat posture. Doing this at night or when I'm alone, stalking my room to chase away the imagined monsters I'm afraid of. Wanting to do it when people hurt or challenge me.

I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror, but don't know what I want (or ought) to look like. I don't remember a past life. I don't know how I got here. I don't know why I'm here.

I'm ambivalent about my species. I don't like the word "dinosaur." I don't like the pop cultural appropriation of the word "velociraptor." I like that it means "a swift bird of prey," and it feels natural to me to imagine stalking and trying to frighten or attack others ... things that are bigger than me or are dangerous to me or are trying to deny me what I need. But I think about actually hunting and feeding on someone, and realize that's what I'm remembering, and it hurts. I don't want to have to be like this.

I've spent a lot of time talking to [personal profile] spectrum_x and [personal profile] aliaspseudonym trying to come to terms with it.

I have my own language. I use it instinctively. It doesn't have many words, and most of the ones I remember are imprecations. I doubt if it sounds anything like the vocalizations of my phenotype. But it comes very naturally, and sounds like what I imagine for us.

[fox!Taryn]

I don't feel like my body is involved much at all. It's more like my appearance and the way I present myself. I don't want to be a fox so much as a fox-woman, or fox archetype ... an imaginative trickster spirit.

I'm very concerned with how I look. I want to choose a good "avatar" for this world, one that lets me feel like myself. I want it to remind people of my and v!T's real natures, and to remind myself of them too. I feel like I'm putting up an illusion when I present as male, now, and I don't want to have to feel like that all the time.

I'm also concerned with what I do, and how I live my life. As soon as I "woke up" in this person's life, when I possessed her, I experienced tremendous dysphoria with her lifestyle. I had to research frantically to find out what was wrong and what I should be doing instead, and to find things I could feel good and get excited about.

I feel less like an animal and more like a spirit, or an aspect of Inari. I don't want to hunt or move like a fox. I want to use one as a symbol, to remind people of things that I feel are important. I feel that I embody that symbol ... or at least, I hope that I do. I'm still coming to terms with this.
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
First, I'd like to thank everyone who's expressed their support or sent donations after I talked about what I was worried about.

They say that coming out shows you who your real friends are. This is the second time now that I've had to ask for help; the first was when I was moving out for the first time, and didn't make much from writing and didn't know what I could do. Both times, people came through for me and/or Yuro. That says a lot about you. Thank you.

Why I have trouble asking for (or believing I'll receive) help )

It hurts so bad when people act out aggression towards me, or when I'm afraid that things will be taken from me. But it helps me feel more confident when I realize that people care about me. Everything seems easier when someone I love is there to help me, whether it's Alias or [personal profile] rev_yurodivy. And knowing that I have a safety net -- from the government, and from my friends -- makes it easier to just enjoy myself and create things.

I'm open to other suggestions for things I can do to get past my blocks. Thank you all again.

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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