Trigger warning for discussion of sexism, gender roles, transphobia, and experiences that may be hard to sympathize with for a transwoman who has trouble passing as female.
In many transformation stories, there's what some people call a "mirror scene," where the protagonist looks in a mirror and realizes what he or she has become.
I spent a long time imagining and trying to figure out how to word one for my personal character, back in my Sonic fanfiction days. He was a peregrine falcon who'd imprinted on the cat who raised him, and had a ton of species dysphoria; deep down, he didn't see himself as a raptor. And he wouldn't let himself, because he idealized them and felt like he didn't deserve to be one. Realizing that he really was one, and that it was okay to be what he saw in the mirror, was a major breakthrough for him.
At the time, I was a faithful Mormon, and the only lesson I let myself get out of that was that I should be happy being a male human. This was a huge struggle for me at the time, the gender dysphoria especially. It didn't matter how much I told myself that I should
be comfortable in my own skin. It never happened.
Until a few days ago, when I tried on gender-appropriate clothing for the first time.( Read more... )