jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I don't have a lot of clean clothes to wear to a social outing tomorrow.

If I wear the clothes I don't like, I'll look unmistakably male (but with long hair).

If I wear the clothes I do like, I won't be able to use gendered restrooms.

I considered just saying "to heck with it" and overtly presenting as female, meaning wearing makeup and prosthetics. But if I do that, I run the risk of being identified as a trans woman, whether by my voice slipping, my appearance not being perfect, or a clueless acquaintance outing me.

(Content note: Transphobia and anatomy.)

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Thinking about my last post, I want to strike the last example I gave in it. I only remember hearing about that event third-hand, and [personal profile] citrakayah pointed out that I was not even using the correct terminology.

Instead, I want to point out a few things that [personal profile] aliaspseudonym and I have noticed, and that I've spent awhile discussing with him. I'm going to try to use personal experience more when discussing this.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Ana Mardoll wrote a great piece on this. She discusses it both firsthand, as a Wiccan, and as someone who's seen the Quileute tribe exploited in the Twilight franchise and thought this was Not Okay. And she uses some very good stories and examples, both to point out what is Not Okay and to raise questions about what, exactly, is Not Okay about "cultural appropriation."

I think those questions need to be asked. What's bad about cultural appropriation, after all? Is it that one person is being silenced, or is it that another person is finding their voice and is saying things they aren't allowed to?

Trigger warning for discussion of privilege, oppression, racism, transphobia, religious supremism, and genocide.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
May you never hear me say that your identity isn't real, that you don't have a right to it, or that it offends me personally.

May I never bully you because I don't think you're bullied enough.

May I never accuse you of appropriation for being yourself.

May I never forget what it's like to be looked down on.

May I always respond with empathy, and never with incredulity.

May those who would do otherwise never feel comfortable around me.
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
After last weekend shot my self-confidence straight to hell and made me really insecure, I've had a lot of really needy, clingy, insecure moments. I've been trying to analyze my feelings to keep from being overwhelmed by them.

As near as I can tell, here's what the process is like:
  1. Realize that something feels really good.

  2. Get really conflicted about liking it.

  3. Enjoy it enough, without bad consequences, that I get over the conflict.
Those bad consequences happened last Friday, which put me back to steps 1 and 2 for awhile. But what causes the conflict in step 2 to begin with? That's what I've been trying to analyze.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
[personal profile] rev_yurodivy and I were instant soulmates. The very first time we talked, she nervously explained how weird she was so that we could write a story about her fursona together. I listened, and thought "Won't she be surprised when she finds out I'm just like that!"

Only a week in I knew I was in love with her, but it took me a few months to admit it. I was scared that I'd find out something bad about her. But it wasn't until we'd already been mates for maybe a year that she finally told me that she had a polyandry fetish. It took her like an hour of nervousness to finally admit it, and she was ashamed instantly; apologetic, and wishing she could take it back or make herself not feel that way.

I reacted like she'd come up to me with a guy on each shoulder, and told me that she won't be needing me anymore.

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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