jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Still too scared to present overtly as female, especially when we aren't on hormones yet. Ended up somewhere in between, which was as comfortable as we could get with our appearance. May have been a mistake.

What we did

Sat on a bench for a half hour while people talked to each other around us, then took photos of [personal profile] rev_yurodivy fursuiting, then found a table where people were playing card games and managed to get into a couple of games of magic.

How we felt

Nervous, out of place, and overloaded (in the autistic sense). At the very least, we should have brought sunglasses.

It felt really, really unnerving to be there, because it seemed like we were invisible to most people. Our "female register" voice is quiet and there were a lot of people around, which is probably part of why we felt ignored. When we did talk to people we didn't know what to bring up except electronics, and that didn't go well.

People seemed visibly dismayed to talk to us. One person didn't even say anything but just sort of stared at us for several seconds with a :| expression on his face. Several people we used to know barely acknowledged us, or didn't at all.

We felt shell-shocked for hours afterwards, but I think right now we're leaning towards hurt and rejected.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

[personal profile] rev_yurodivy had some interesting thoughts about the effect fursuiting has on the people around you:

Logically they know they're looking at a person in a costume, unless they're a small child and still have the capacity to believe in anthropomorphic animals. But they start to act like they're actually dealing with a five-foot-something two-legged [insert species here.] I can't tell you how gratifying that is, especially if it brings a bit of magic into someone's life.

There's a phrase I once heard that seems to describe the way to look at this: "Ha ha, only serious." It means that what you're doing is, at face value, a joke or a game of some kind. But it means a lot more to you deep down, and the fact that the people around you think it's a joke or a game means that they're okay with playing along.

The best part is, no one is being deceived. The fursuiter really is what they appear to be, and the people around them choose to treat them accordingly. In a way that they wouldn't, in this world, if Yuro physically appeared to be an anthro.

(Yuro takes fursuit commissions, BTW.)

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
Prices are negotiable; contact them for more info. They make fullsuits, partials, ears/tails/handpaws, and things designed to help you feel like your fursona or therian / otherkin self.

Here is an example of a partial they made. It's since had the fuzzy headfur trimmed a bit. They also recently made a fullsuit but haven't posted pictures yet.

I've lived with them for half a year now, and they're very much into this fursuiting thing and have been learning and working extremely fast. This is their passion and obsession. They'll do a good job on whatever you ask for. We're taking donations if anyone wants, but Yuro wants practice as well.

The reason we're asking for this is because we're in trouble.

Long version )

The upshot of all that is as of a couple days ago, our savings were basically gone, the rent has gone way up, I have to wrack my brain for several articles every day just to keep from falling behind, and if something traumatic happens and I lose even one day things get really bad really fast.

I'm running on a treadmill, I'm getting tired, and there's no one waiting to catch me. And I'm still doing almost all of the cooking and cleaning, because of sensory issues and inexperience on Yuro's part. There are days (like today) when we have to eat cereal and sandwiches because I feel too miserable to cook anything.

They feel rotten and want to help. Besides contributing more with the chores, this is how they can. They're good at this. Let them know what you're interested in.

It's not all bad news

And it's not as dire as it was a few days ago. I'm getting a large bonus this month, and I got an enormous bonus (equivalent to a whole month's pay) for winning an "of the year" kind of award. Apparently, they like my writing.

I can't rely on this happening again, though. All this does is give us some breathing room. Frankly, I don't know what to do. There's noplace significantly cheaper than this that we have the credit rating (or spoons) to move into, or be able to move into on our own. I know I can't make 3x this place's rent anytime soon, especially since they want a whole year's worth of earning info since my writing's unstable. And because it is unstable, I have to save every windfall I get.

I don't even know how I'm going to transition while we're going through this. I don't know if or when I'll be able to at all. I don't have anything to hope for, except that somehow something I make will catch on. And I don't have the energy to make anything. I just want to curl up in a corner and die.

I'm open to other suggestions.
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
1. What made you choose a sparrow as your fursona before? It's very different from your actual species.

He was a tree swallow, actually. And it's a long story.

The first self-insert character I wrote was a peregrine falcon named Tachyon. He was a Tyke Bomb raised by the Big Bad, and was intended to be a villain. But somehow the story ended up exploring their abusive relationship more, and basically mirroring what I was going through with my family and church even though I didn't realize it at the time. I put a lot of myself into him, and he became the favorite of several of my readers.

When I became a furry I realized he was kind of my fursona already, but I was a vegetarian by then so I decided to look into changing him to a songbird instead of a raptor. I wasn't really sure what I was going for, until I saw an Audubon tree swallow plushie and was like <3

It wasn't long before I realized my tree swallow fursona was still masking who I was beneath. But then, that's because my whole identity was at the time.

2. If you could have one change to your body but only one (so, you can't have a whole body change, but, you can change one part), what is it?

If anyone's read the comments on our latest entry, you won't be surprised that we both want our reproductive system swapped out. phoenix!Taryn just wants hers to lay eggs.

p!T: I don't know what else I'd change. I want to be stronger, quicker, to have wings and claws and a tail. I want to be lithe and agile and fast, and unmistakeably lethal and powerful. I just don't think I can do all of that in one change.

f!T: I want to be a foxwoman more than a straightforward fox, and I'm okay with wearing ears and a tail. >.>b

3. Have you ever wanted a fursuit?

We want a quadsuit, badly. I'm not sure we even care what it is. >.>;

f!T: Maybe I liked being a four-legged fox more than I thought I did, or maybe I associate it with familiarity.

p!T: I just like the thought of using my forelimbs for movement. Somehow it feels more alive and responsive. I'm not sure I need to, though. An upright shape has its advantages.

4. In 24 hours, the situation from one of your Become Your Fursona stories is going to happen in reality. What story do you choose and what will you do?

Too late.

5. What is the best physical experience you ever had in life? (Going on a rollercoaster, skydiving, eating a really good dessert... etc.)

Um.

Let's just say that our kitty has been very helpful to us. <3

How to participate in the meme )

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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