jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

This is the first part of a fanfic adaptation of Dead Space, by way of the Steven Universe television series. It contains spoilers for Steven Universe, and takes place in the future of SU's setting. I have tried to write it to be accessible to someone who's not familiar with the canon, but SU has a lot of lore to keep track of, so your mileage may vary.





I was alone, in a world made of crystal. And I was not running fast enough.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

By Joe Parlock on Polygon:

I racked my brain to think of games featuring autistic characters that have stood out to me, and four came to mind. All of these characters are different kinds of people with autism, and some of them can be interpreted as positive representations. They also bring to light the tropes and stereotypes surrounding the condition that made me so worried about people finding out I have autism.

He uses the "person with autism" wording that a lot of people (like me) find unpleasant. But as long as we're now letting women and PoC talk about those kinds of characters in video games, we should also be listening to disabled people's thoughts on how disability is portrayed.

Personally, as an autistic person who plays video games one of my favourite portrayals is in Final Fantasy XIV Online. Your player character is shown talking to people occasionally, but words are never put in her mouth. And her somewhat-muted, frequently nonverbal reactions in cutscenes make her easy for me to identify with.

At any rate, I can't recommend the last game Parlock suggests enough.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Someone posted some valid criticisms of certain points we brought up in our last essay, and we were a bundle of nerves at that point so we just pulled the essay and will address those later on.

Overall, we haven't had much energy this week because of anxiety over things that we've been putting off, like bills and mental health things and being screened for disability. That last one involved a public transit adventure, which included slipping and falling on pavement and walking about 2 km on the side of the highway in the rain. Thanks to Google Maps being inaccurate, we still would have missed our appointment, if some people at a Christian ministry we stumbled across hadn't let us use their phone and then given us a ride down the road to the place we were supposed to be at.

We are currently scraped up a bit and sore all over, but bandaged and mostly okay.

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As an aside, Dreamwidth email posting does not seem to be working for us right now, which is making it hard to attach a picture to the other post that we wanted to write.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

(Content note: TERFs, transmisogyny, xenophobia directed at otherkin and other invisible minority groups.)

I wrote, awhile back, about some social justice warriors on Tumblr, who take a break from smashing the kyriarchy to enforce it on minorities they don't like.

Not all people who profess a concern for social justice, or identity as SJWs are like this. The ones who are, though, use a skill that I called "mind-reading," but is really more like "depersonalizing someone by claiming their identity is not genuine and is just an extension of their privilege."

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

That's the most commonly rendered version of Google's motto, which most people invoke ironically these days as they point out the latest evil thing Google did. But you can do a lot of evil stuff without ever seeing yourself as evil. And if you're measuring how good you are by how evil someone else is, you get to be one of those people who wants a cookie for not being as terrible as someone else.

I personally feel that if you are alive, then you deserve to be alive, by default and until proven otherwise. I believe that "kindness is goodness;" that you are a good person just for being the kind of person you are, and that if anyone says otherwise or tries to prevent you from being yourself then they are being unkind to you.

I believe that some people are damaged, disabled, marginalized, or ill. I believe they deserve to exist, and to participate fully in society. I think it is the responsibility of abled people to accommodate them. I believe in solidarity with these people, and in giving up privilege or inconveniencing myself in order to keep them from having to do without things that they need or that I take for granted. I believe this is best done not through individual acts, but as a society, so that the responsibility is spread out and so that they do not need to beg.

I believe that some people are dangerous, including (but not limited to) carnivores, narcissists, and white European Americans. I don't believe that being dangerous means that a person is evil or must be destroyed. I believe there are ways to coexist, that do not have to involve harming innocents. But I believe that the burden is on the most dangerous people to find those ways, not on their victims. And I sympathize with those who resist them.

I believe that Chaotic Neutral is the best D&D alignment, because I feel it encompasses (or can encompass) all of the above. I believe you don't have to be "good" to be kind to others and empathize with them. I believe that the concept of "good" is overrated, and is often used to cover for dangerous people's actions, or to condemn those who resist them as "evil."

If "good" exists objectively, it is willing self-sacrifice on behalf of another. I don't feel that it's needed in order to be kind to others, because I feel that most people are naturally kind (or at least not dangerous) so long as their needs are met. But I do feel that kindness -- both in the sense of being yourself, and respecting the rights of others to do the same -- is a prerequisite for the kind of self-sacrifice that is helpful.

Otherwise, you end up seeing self-sacrifice as good in and of itself. You don't trust people who don't give up enough of themselves for "the greater good." And you give your all for other people, who you then expect to do the same for others, until there's no kindness left in the universe because everyone's trying so hard to be "good."

Or at least, to appear good. Which is much easier.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

This essay is part of a series based on Meirya's 30 Days of Otherkin Challenge. These essays describe what it's like for Jewelfox to be otherkin. If you don't know what otherkin are, please read Jewelfox's Otherkin FAQ.

Because [personal profile] jewelfox is a plural system, each member will answer each question for herself.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I think this is a phrase which means

"[...] was fairly and consistently rewarded for their efforts."

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Content note: Describes religious bigotry and homophobia.

So I was playing an RPG called Cthulhu Saves the World, where the titular squamous horror awakens only to be deprived of his powers. And now he has to go on a quest and become a "true hero," so he can get his powers back and destroy the world.

And it's funny. Not laugh-out-loud hilarious but cute. It helped distract me from the crisis I'm going through right now. Until I ran into this part in the "Hall of Heroes" where one of the characters is rattling off a list of "true heroes," and one of them is Alma the Younger.

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jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
This is a phrase I hear a lot in exmormon circles. The idea is something like
They think you're a worthless sinner now, and that you're going to go all out on hookers and booze now that you've left the church. Prove them wrong! Keep being the awesome successful person you are, except now without Mormonism to hold you back. Show them you're just as nice and caring as you ever were, and make their brains break when they see how you're doing and realize the other shoe may never drop.
Closely related is the idea that Mormonism itself is somehow good. That yes, it's a manipulative cult, but that it "teaches good principles," and that "clean living" has value. The people who hold this idea, like Mormon Stories founder John Dehlin, genuinely love and cherish Mormon culture to some degree. They just wish the Mormon church hadn't lied to them and hurt people they care about.

I'm not so sure you can separate the two, though.

Read more... )
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
I am fragile. It takes very little to trigger a depressive episode, which can leave me unable to do anything for a day or more. It takes only a little more to cause an autistic shutdown. I have many, many triggers, and I do not respect them or myself nearly as much as I deserve.

Sometimes, as was the case this Election Day when terrible people took over my state, they are unavoidable. And sometimes it's cathartic or helpful to dwell on parts of them. If I feel myself being triggered, though, that is a sign I need to stop.

I am valuable. There are many people who don't want me to exist. Most of them would if they had any idea who I am and what I'm going through. The rest are not worth worrying about. Their opinions don't change who and what I am, or my intrinsic value.

It is not such a terrible thing that I "have" to disguise myself from them. It is a gift from Inari that I am able to pass for female at all. She has always blessed foxes and humans who wanted (or needed) to disguise themselves. Her blessing allows me to participate in the societies I am in. I am grateful for it.

I need to be sheltered. The things I have gone through, and the disabilities which I have, have made me incapable of functioning in this society on my own. I was temporarily able to do so last year, most of the way. But this is no longer the case.

I deserve to be sheltered. My family, church, and society all made promises to me. They broke them. My family, especially, betrayed me and nearly destroyed me. I have been emotionally crippled this entire year. I feel like I've had a limb amputated. I'm not sure I'll ever recover. If I could have on my own, I would have by now.

I did not deserve to be hurt like this. I didn't deserve to spend most of my life hating myself. I didn't deserve to have my most basic needs denied to me. To only get to find out for a few days this past August what it's like to have them fulfilled. It's not right. And the burden should not be on me to make things right. Anything which takes that burden from me, anything at all, is just, insofar as it does so.

I am being sheltered. I have a mostly-safe space to recover. I have toys and games and Nice Things to surround myself with. I have the electronics I need. I don't have to worry that much about food, or shelter. The work I have to do, I'm allowed to fit into my schedule and tailor to fit my interests. My needs still aren't all being met, but I have lucid, rested moments when I can plan out how to fulfill them.

I am loved and appreciated.

The bad things will not last forever. People will come to embrace solidarity. They're doing so already, in so many ways. If I die, it means rest, and I do so knowing I leave behind a world that's changing for the better. If I live, I will eventually get to be someplace safe, surrounded in person by people who care about me. I will spend the rest of my life there, and they won't care that I have been damaged or am unattractive or am emotionally exhausted.

They will accept me. And I will live without fear.

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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