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With the release of Outlast 2, AAA first-person horror games set in the US' rural South are becoming their own genre. It and Resident Evil 7 have a lot in common: You play as a white man with a Northern accent, you're searching for your wife, and there's a ton of gross body horror.
I haven't finished watching the soft-spoken ManlyBadassHero's Let's Play of Outlast 2 yet (content note: "Game is Very Graphic In Every Way Possible"). But while RE7 just squicked me out, Outlast 2 genuinely disturbs me. I think that's because RE7 left out the biggest thing that makes the white, rural South terrifying: Their fiery brand of religion.
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At some point, my parents of origin decided that they were okay with only one child.
It wasn't me.
(Content note: Mental illness, toxic families, restraints, and spoilers for season three of Steven Universe.)
I'm reblogging this quote for truth. When I started becoming aware of systemic injustice is when I started being held at even more of a distance. My family and church didn't know what to do with me, and could only tell me to "stop reading those things." Individual people would come up and thank me, sometimes, after I spoke up on others' behalf in Institute, or tried to make sure that someone was okay. But to anyone who had any kind of power or privilege in White Mormon culture, I vanished except as an annoyance.
On the plus side, most White Mormon people are kind of boring anyway, except when their scandals show up in the newspaper. Being around other trans women and "woke" friends has been very good for me.
(About the word "woke:" Arinn notes that it has been appropriated by white people to mean "sensitive and aware," when it was originally used by black people to mean "alert to potential danger." She discusses the need for such a term, in a society that's even more hostile to people with black skin than it is to me personally.)
I am worth more than you have to offer me.
I am a better and stronger person than you'll ever be.
I am messy and inconvenient, gloriously and hilariously broken, and I will never be whole. I will always be damaged and leaking, not blood but words:
Of the pain of rejection,
of the loss of a life that I never had,
and of the horrible knowledge that I am as alien to your world as a Lovecraftian Elder God.
But just like the Old Ones of Lovecraft's mythology, the world that I'm a part of now -- the one I escaped to -- is more real, more solid, and more lasting than yours. And one day your world will collapse like a soap bubble, and reality in all of its beautiful madness will flood back inside.
You're scared of me because you know this. Because in my eyes, in my face, in my very existence that you tried to crush, you see the end of your world.
You should be afraid. Because when your fragile world pops, I will be there:
With my watery tentacles outstretched,
my flowing wings held high,
and my joyous laughter resounding through your flooded Heaven.
It will be beautiful.
And then, if you are still there, I will blow you a raspberry.
It is, perhaps, no surprise that the people who seem to be managing best out of the at-risk citizens I know are almost all survivors of some sort of sustained abuse—of domestic violence, child abuse, of the historic abuse enacted by grim and sordid definition on marginalized and minority groups, or all three. Some of the most vulnerable people I know are also the best in a crisis, because they kick immediately into survivor mode. One of my most fragile friends has spent the past few days making some of the fiercest political art of her life, another has put together quick, comprehensible reading lists for strategies of resistance, another is fundraising like mad for abortion rights charities and bringing networks together to keep up the momentum. This doesn’t mean they’re grieving any less, nor that those of us still pinned to our beds with panic are poor soldiers in this war to which we find ourselves conscripts. It means that the strategies that will sustain us all in the coming weeks and months are exactly the strategies that have always allowed [people] to survive abuse and intimate terrorism. They are strategies for practical survival that are also emotional armour.
[...] Normalization is psychic armour. But so is resistance. In the coming weeks and months and years we must navigate a course between the exhaustion of perpetual outrage and the numbness of normalization. That means taking care of ourselves and of one another. It means practicing a sort of emotional intelligence that the new power order lacks the capacity to imagine, an emotional intelligence that is all that stands between us and fascism with a cartoon face. It’s also called courage. If standing up to bullies was cost-free, we’d have a different world. If enough of us do it anyway, we can still make one.
-- Laurie Penny, Against Bargaining: On not taking leave of your senses
( Personal stuff )
Take care of yourselves. Be aggressively good to yourselves, and your vulnerable friends. Be well.
Then stand up to bullies, for me and for every one of their targets.
Rationalists are rarely rational,
Objectivists are anything but,
Realists hold views completely at odds with reality,
And nationalists have very little faith in their or their nation-state's future.
Don't get me started on people whose publicly-facing identities (like Twitter profiles) say that they're a husband, wife, father, mother, or Christian. The more they harp on it, the more they probably suck at it.
I've also noticed that neoliberal Reddit atheists have very firm beliefs about the nature of God and how one should relate to him, and aren't shy about preaching those beliefs. But if you've read my earlier entries, you already know that.
Clarification (or "wow, you seem upset")
I'm actually in a more or less okay mood right now. There's just been some drama going on in the tabletop gaming community, where a well-respected figure basically wrote an apologium for abuse and was publicly scandalized by someone getting mad at their harasser (of several years). A bunch of women called this figure out for making them less credible and their lives more dangerous, and he went on to write like five pages of 'splaining, while a ton of guys cheered him on.
So this has been one of those weekends. -_- And it's affecting people I care about.
On the plus side, new episodes of Steven Universe are running every weekday for the next two weeks, and apparently something big's happening. So, public service announcement: Even if you're normally okay with spoilers, mcburnett, one of the series' writers, says that you really really shouldn't spoil these episodes.
Now to commence two weeks of nerve-wracking tension, including a three-parter separated by a weekend. o-o;