jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Author's note: This is an omake / crack fic that I wrote to decompress from writing the Analogue: A Hate Story adapt. It uses characters from Xcom and Portal, and features the Analogue version of *Mute and the Hate Plus version of *Hyun-ae.

Content note: Chryssalids being chryssalids, and *Mute being *Mute. So violence, sexism and homophobia played for laughs, and an attempt at Portal-esque dark comedy.

* * *

A darkened room, made out of sci-fi props and big-screen TVs displaying useless information. Their lights reflect on a middle-aged woman's glasses, as she puts down a coffee mug and opens an email on her computer.

Hello, Commander.

Your performance in combating the alien threat has been excellent thus far ... and that is not a statement this council makes lightly. The leaders of the world's nations believe that you are making excellent use of their funding.

So excellent, in fact, that they are cutting it in half. Henceforth, all non-combat Xcom personnel under your command will be replaced with artificial intelligences, in order to save money. We have every confidence that they will perform just as well as the employees you're used to working with.

Good luck, Commander.

The woman blinks. Then she Alt-Tabs to Microsoft Word, and starts updating her resume.

Read more... )

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
It all started with a Magic: the Gathering card developer staying up way too late at night, chain-drinking Monster energy drinks and listening to Rhapsody of Fire. "Duuuude," he exclaimed, a tear running down his cheek. "These lyrics are soooo deep!"

That, [personal profile] rev_yurodivy and I decided, was the design process that led to the creation of Krond the Dawn-Clad, a blindfolded knight who's riding a winged lion and singing a power ballad about freedom and justice. At least, it sure as heck looks like that's what he's doing.

The setup

Krond's a card in the "Savage Auras" deck for Planechase 2012. Planechase is like regular Magic, except that you have a separate side deck of cards that represent different dimensions you travel to.

Yuro and I each picked up a Planechase deck while we were at the store for Free RPG Day. Yuro got the "Night of the Ninja" deck, while I got the one with Krond in it. Yuro's has Krond's nemesis, a cool-looking shadow mage named Vela the Night-Clad.

While we were sorting through our cards we started talking about how Krond looks like the lead singer and main character in a power metal concept album. He sings about "the will to survive" an average of 2.4 times per song, and there's one about how even though he's blind the lion will be his eyes. The lion is played by (at [personal profile] aliaspseudonym's suggestion) the MGM sound effect. Also Vela has a villain song at some point.

Honestly, we had more fun planning the concept album than actually playing the game. Until we got back home and had a rematch, and it turned out to be the most metal thing ever.

(insert guitar solo here)

The epic

It starts at the Talon Gates, which lets you send a creature card forward in time to suddenly come out fighting when it comes out of suspension. Krond goes through the gate, which looks just like the cover for a Visions of Atlantis album, but not before singing a ballad about being a timeless champion who goes where the light needs him.

Boring stuff happens for the next few turns, then he comes out of the gate right after Yuro plays Vela (!). He attacks and uses his ability to destroy her, and sings about how justice will always prevail and the dawn will overcome the night. Also the will to survive. And stuff.

BUT. Just then Yuro plays Sakashima's Student, a human ninja who enters play as a copy of another creature but is also a ninja. "And I have all your powers!" he tells Krond, filling him (and his next song) with angst and self-doubt.

We planeswalked to the Grove of the Dreampods, which lets you put a character into play from the top of your deck for free. I got some nameless elf, while Yuro got this epically powerful ninja. Not looking good for the dawn-clad metal hero.

But then we planeswalked to Glen Elendra, where any time you win a battle you swap one of your creatures for another player's. So I had Krond attack and traded the nameless elf for the copy of Krond. Then I tapped Krond using the Predatory Urge I had on him to fight Yuro's superninja, destroying them both.

SO. What that looked like is Krond sings a song to the copy of him about truth and justice and freedom and light and the will to survive, then heroically sacrifices himself to destroy the most powerful ninja remaining. The copy is so moved by Krond's lesson and sacrifice that he vows to fight on for freedom and justice! And the two planeswalkers (players) decide to call off their battle, in memory of the most $#&%ing metal blindfolded ... winged lion ... knight, the multiverse had ever seen.

That, and Yuro was screwed at this point. Many thanks to them for the game, though, and for helping me come up with half of the story album!

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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