jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
[personal profile] jewelfox

There are few things more exhausting and triggering, for me, than sitting through a sermon on how love means putting up with your partner, no matter what. And how important parents' feelings about their kids getting married are. And then following it up by everyone being quiet and respectful while two old white men pray on behalf of us all, and thank the Christian God for the opportunity to serve him, and ask him to cast Magic Circle against Evil on the married couple.

It is deeply, deeply offensive to me to be asked to participate in and endorse heteronormative religious supremacism, and see my friends and new family members basically denounce polyamory. Or act like the only relationships worth celebrating are exclusive ones.

I feel invisible and like a non-person. I had an anxiety attack and had to bail out. I will never go to any function where anyone offers a Christian prayer on behalf of me, ever again. And I will never again silently endorse the kind of terrible relationship advice that abuse culture has to offer. Especially when it's being offered to someone I care about.

I am tired.

At least it wasn't my wedding.




* I mean straight as in "heteronormative," and not as in the genders of the participants.

Re: Yes...

Date: 2017-07-23 06:10 am (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
>> There isn't any respect for religious diversity in this family, except for asking if I want to not be there while the food is blessed.<<

That sucks.

>> I'm sick to death of having their faith held up, celebrated, and imposed on everyone younger than them, while I have to stay quiet about mine.<<

Speak up, make noise. Even if it mostly just pisses them off, you might put a bug in the ear of the younger ones.

>> I've tried to talk about my experiences and stuff, but they just stay silent. There's no curiosity. No desire to actually learn from anyone different from them. What's there to learn from people who are going to hell?<<

This sounds less like a family and more like a cult. 0_o

*sigh* I have some relatives who don't love the real me either. It sucks. They say they want me around, but you know, when they don't like my sexuality, religions, politics, opinions, or pretty much anything else about me I don't think that constitutes love or care. It's wishful thinking.

>> ... I think I remember you talking about being clergy, before. Is it okay to ask what that's about, or which faith / tradition you're part of? <<

Yes. I'm Pagan, primarily Celtic, Native American, Sumerian, and African traditions. But I'm comfortable working around most of the globe. I can pinch-hit for other faiths at need. You can see some of the rituals I've done on our coven website.

>> (I personally see myself as closest to other female Inari shamans who channel / are chosen by her, today. Who are outside of her formal priesthood but provide necessary care to her petitioners, and who have a long-standing symbiotic relationship with her priests and shrine maidens.<<

That's cool. :D

>> I have yet to charge for aid, but I keep thinking of starting a Patreon. I just don't yet know how to justify it, or what to provide.) <<

Generally a good place to start is looking for an unmet need that you could meet. People are always complaining about things that went wrong or what they need but can't get.

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~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

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