Date: 2014-09-23 09:06 am (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
I think it's more complicated than that. (As if it wasn't complicated enough already.)

>> The only sign that things are wrong is that person's misery and feeling of not-right-ness, which psychologists call gender dysphoria and the people who go through it call "being trans." <<

The primary sign is a feeling that one's gender identity and physique do not match. While all the attention gets paid to people who find this a life-wrecking experience, it is not so for everyone. Sometimes it's just an annoying thing that can't really be fixed, like being too short or having skin the wrong color or being the wrong species or whatever.

>> "I am confused about my gender"

... said no "out" trans person ever. <<

I've heard that plenty of times. Gender can be confusing. It is especially confusing if your body and family say one thing but your internal sense is different, and all the more so if you're not talking about a flip between standard male/female but you are actually some other sex/gender altogether. Which frequently nobody even wants to admit exists. Often this leads to crawling through history and other cultures banging on labels and asking, "Is this it? Is this me?" and throwing things over your shoulder in frustration for a few years before, if you're lucky, you find the right one.

And it's okay to be confused, because bodies and genders and sex are confusing sometimes. The not-okay thing is picking on people about it, because that never helps, and it happens way too much.

Some people are confused. Some people aren't. It doesn't make any of them less who they are. Straight, cisgender people get confused about this stuff too, especially if their idea of manhood or womanhood doesn't exactly match the current standard.

>> But Mormons believe you consented to live the life you have, in the "pre-existence." <<

Plenty of religions believe that people choose some or all of what happens to them. That does not make it suck one bit less while you are in it. It's kind of like seeing a gee-whiz ride at the fair, and whining for an hour until your parents give in and let you ride the damn thing, and then you barf up your cotton candy and realize that just because something LOOKS fun doesn't necessarily mean YOU will enjoy it. And you can't get off until the ride's over.

Plus some religions allow for the fact that people and gods are fallible and make filing errors sometimes, as well as judgement errors.

Some people find themselves more comfortable in another religion than the one they grew up in, and that's okay too. Paganism is a broad group that gets a lot of people like that, partly because some branches consider QUILTBAG folks to be sacred.

>> I am not going to turn you gay. I am not going to make your child trans. The only thing my being "out" does is remind you that people like me exist. <<

The fact that so many allegedly straight, cissexual people think of identity as that fragile runs parallel to findings that the most virulent of them are often secretly other than they claim to be.

>> If you can't bear to think of that, then maybe I don't want to be in the same world as you, either. <<

And that right there is behind the astronomical rate of suicide and murder among transfolk. It's about refusing to let them be in this world, because assholes are in it and won't share. Which is really frustrating to anyone who likes diversity.
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