jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)
[personal profile] jewelfox

... who believe in one fewer god.

That's how [personal profile] aliaspseudonym summed up the discussion I had last night with someone from FFXIV, which prompted a friends-locked ragepost right afterwards. Please note that the "Christians" being compared to here are the non-pluralistic ones, who believe there's only one real god and only one right way to relate to him.

Content note: Homophobia, theophobia, being angry, and swears, all behind the cut. Click here to skip if you are reading the entry by itself.

* * *

A lot of movement atheists are exactly like that. They just subtract one god and continue to be condescending, self-righteous pricks, who feel entitled to tell others what it's like inside their heads and what it should be like inside their heads. Who see all spirituality as based on delusion and lies, but may be willing to grant others their "faith" so long as the movement atheists get to dish out condescension and moralism whenever they feel like it. And lecture and opine about others who have experiences which they don't, because only someone who does not have those experiences can speak credibly about them.

So basically, they -- or the person I spoke with, at least -- are at about the point that the Mormons are at today. Where they are completely fine with gay people, so long as you don't do anything gay and still call yourself a Mormon. Or be around Mormons. Or hold hands with your partner around Mormons. Or think that your love and life and relationship are in any way equal to theirs. Or forget that you are the reason the family is falling apart, and that in the next life their god will erase you.

Sort of like how religious people fly planes into buildings, and the world will be better off once we're inevitably eradicated.

If you want to discuss being gay with Mormons, or being spiritual or religious with movement atheists, you have to use their language to discuss it, accept their values as preeminent, and listen to them lecture you about yourself. You do not get to define yourself. Hell, you don't even get to say what's going on in your head without getting a talking-to. Don't you know people will see that as "crazy?" Don't you know that your "faith" is "irrational?" Why are you trying to force your beliefs on others?

Why does the homosexual agenda keep forcing its values on main street America!?!?

If you're going to be gay, at least have the decency to keep your private sexual behaviour, like holding hands with your partner (gay is all about teh sex because I can't look at a gay person without thinking about dicks in butts), behind closed doors. Where no one can see it or be weirded out by it or be tempted to experiment with it or be reminded that it exists at all, and can go about their happy heterosexual lives which are not at all closeted in a magical 50's utopia where men are men and women are married to them.

And if you're going to be religious, in a way that "I" don't accept, expect to get into a similarly fraught and smug conversation where I tell you which god you ought to worship and how you ought to do so, and what your life is like because of your choices, and what danger people like you (but maybe not you, you can be one of the good ones because I said so) pose to the world. Whether I believe in the one true god, or none at all.

GODDESS, I NEED A DRINK.

Of coffee. Because alcohol is a depressant and I don't need that right now.

And I think I'm done venting now.

I think that getting angry, then thinking more calmly about it, and continuing to maintain my boundaries and not see myself as the problem, is the healthiest response I've had to being comprehensively invalidated in awhile.

At the same time, though, this whole thing was an unpleasant reminder that I don't get to pretend to be normal. I thought I could, I really hoped that I could, but I'm one of the "monsters" that [personal profile] avia talks about. Who can't be understood or accepted, if anyone sees what she is. Not by society at large; not even by supposedly progressive sectors of society like the LGBT-friendly Free Company I was in, in FFXIV.

(Please note that during the conversation, this person also said stuff that was blindingly offensive and ignorant, about neurodiverse people and plural systems.)

I'm not tying myself to a Free Company, or another club or guild organization, unless it's a small group of friends like the people that I know on Dreamwidth. I'm tired of being triggered every day, and not knowing how to escape except by logging out. I don't think I get to have that experience, of feeling camaraderie and acceptance with large groups of people, and I think I'm okay with that. Because I would rather hold out for people who accept me, than erase "unacceptable" parts of myself to have friends (as opposed to purely professional relationships).

I am going to ****ing platinum that game, and I am going to do it my way.

Date: 2013-10-23 05:44 pm (UTC)
avia: (dust bath)
From: [personal profile] avia
I think that getting angry, then thinking more calmly about it, and continuing to maintain my boundaries and not see myself as the problem, is the healthiest response I've had to being comprehensively invalidated in awhile.

That's wonderful. It really is a good response.

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We're a friendly foxgryphon plural system. Our pronouns are "she" and "her" or "they" and "their."

We wrote Jewelfox's Otherkin FAQ, and a bunch of other identity-related ramblings.

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