Apr. 29th, 2013

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Or at least add a disclaimer that the conversation I had with [personal profile] aliaspseudonym was prompted by discussing the good points that [personal profile] armaina made. I don't agree with everything she said, in the comments on my first copyright essay, but she reminded me that I did not use the best example and that some legal protections are needed to preserve individual creators' brands.

I was trained to be a submissive perfectionist. I'm supposed to back down if I anger someone. And I am not supposed to make mistakes. So when something I write angers people, and I can tell that I did or said something wrong but can't put my claw on what it is, it unnerves me. It unnerves us a lot.

I just get mad when I read about terrible people doing terrible things. I want to talk about it someplace where like-minded people can empathize, and others can show me what I'm leaving out.

I don't want to intimidate people. I don't want to be attacked by people who don't share my values, like what happened when I tried to write for Planet GNOME. And some of the arguments I've gotten into lately with people I care about and respect have been draining. I feel like there's something wrong with me, like I did something wrong, like I didn't explain things well enough, like I'm a terrible person who really ought to shut up.

Especially when I realize that I am at least partway wrong about something, like I was in this case and did not specify clearly enough.

I'm cutting people off or distancing myself from them, for the sake of my own well-being and sanity, more than I'm gaining new readers and contacts. And that doesn't sit well with us at all.

Edit: From an earlier essay:

... pretty much everyone thinks they're a nice person. The difference is what you do when you're confronted with evidence that you've hurt someone. Is your priority to save face or heal them?

This is why the follow-ups that we wrote didn't sit well with us. We weren't giving credit for or really acknowledging how we were changing the way that we looked at things. This is how one acts when one wants to pretend one's infallible. We are not. We are sorry for doing so.

We're still unnerved and unsure of ourselves after all this, and feel unpleasantly reminded of how immature we still are.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

If you want to apply for the next round: https://live.gnome.org/OutreachProgramForWomen

You don't have to apply to work on GNOME, either. Several other Free Software projects are involved. It is a paid internship.

There's also http://sf.adacamp.org/

They close to applications tomorrow.

We applied to go and get funding assistance, but aren't holding our breath.

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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