jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Tamamo-no-Mae is perhaps the most famous -- and tragic -- foxwoman in Japanese folklore. Variations on her story have been told and retold, the gist of which is that she was a kitsune (fox) who took on human form and became the Emperor's courtesan. But she was found out by an onmyōji (magician), declared to be the cause of the Emperor's illness, and chased out to the plains of Nasu and killed.

The retelling of her story in Fate/EXTRA, a visual novel / roleplaying game for the PlayStation Portable, is especially stark. In it, she grows up as a human and does not even realize that she is a fox until her ears suddenly sprout from her head. She manages to conceal them for an entire month, before being found out.

Here are some excerpts from the scene where she tells the player character her life story:

Pictures, transcripts, and discussion of transphobic violence behind cut )

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In case anyone wants to take a look! Also the "About Us" section, which is either on the right-hand side of the screen or below this entry / our recent entries.

We've been sick for the last week or so after experimenting with a new medication. ^^; Aaaand then there was the early-morning rush to try to get a passport with our actual gender on it this time. We were delayed for weeks on account of sending the "renew" form instead of the "apply" form.

Trying to catch back up with things. Hope everyone is doing okay.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I started this off on kind of a grim note, but I want to leave on a hopeful one. 2016 was a fucking mess for a lot of us. It’ll continue to be a mess going forward. A lot of people are freaking out and despairing over this, and it’s understandable--but it doesn’t have to be the only reaction. Games have been a major thing that’s kept me going through all the hard times of my life, this year and all years prior, first as a player and later as a developer. It’s easy to downplay games as a whole as being somewhat trivial or just for idle distraction, but that’s a failure of imagination. Games can tell powerful stories, connect us to each other, or even just make the day easier to get through when we need it. Making games can lets us make tiny worlds that are nice to spend some time in, or more closely resemble the ones we wish we lived in and invite others into them with us. There’s so much power to do so many good things with that, and the easiest way to remind yourself of the good in the world is to create more of it.

So if you’ve ever felt like you want to make a game, there’s no better time than the present. I mean that as more than a platitude--the free tools, information, and other resources available to help you do just that are more numerous than ever. I’ve made some that might be useful to you if you don’t know where to start. If making games would make your world a little brighter, or if you want to make other people’s worlds a little brighter too, I can’t suggest just giving it a try enough.

-- Zoe Quinn's Top 10 Games of 2016

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Destroy “games.”

Destroy “game stores.”

Destroy “gamers.”

Only play games that they have contempt for, with people that they have contempt for, in spaces where they don’t exist.

If they think you're their friend, if they are comfortable around you, then you are complicit in their acts of violence.

Further reading: link

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

"Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;
And in His name all oppression shall cease."

Those are some pretty powerful lyrics. More, these were political and prophetic lyrics.

Recall that the song and the French poem were written in 1847. The English version was written in 1855, six years before the American Civil War and eight years before the Emancipation Proclamation. O Holy Night, it turns out, was a song of political resistance and protest.

-- Richard Beck, Christmas Carols as Resistance Literature

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A while ago, we quoted a review of Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Rebellion, the film that continues the story of the original Madoka Magica dark magical girl series. It accused it of having an "indulgent lack of focus" and "mean-spirited twists," and said that they "beg to be rejected as a conclusion to the work that preceded it."

Those are still our thoughts on Hate Plus. After watching Rebellion a few times, however, they aren't our thoughts on the film anymore, and the film itself gave us a new perspective on *Mute's story and our fanfiction. It's become very significant for us.

Content note: Spoilers for Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Rebellion, plus videos of relevant parts if you don't care to watch the series! The videos contain gore and disturbing imagery.

Also there's talk of suicide, because it's key to both Rebellion and Hate Plus' stories, and is the reason for our fanfic rewrite of the latter.

This part explains Rebellion's plot )

So, how does this tie into Hate Plus?

First, we have the author's dubious understanding of *Mute's agency. Pretending a fictional character can choose how they're portrayed is just a silencing tactic, which prevents discussion of what the character should have done and why the author chose to have her do this.

(Especially when the real reason Love made that choice is because she didn't know how to tell *Mute's story. Not and have it be meaningful.)

And second ... second, the day after I finished crying, I went back and played Hate Plus over and over again, trying everything I could think of. The whole time, I was remembering Homura's struggle, and listening to Magia on repeat.

I feel I know what it was like for her.

I'll never stop trying to create a world in which *Mute can be happy.

Click here to see Homura (the one with black hair) being a badass.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I am worth more than you have to offer me.

I am a better and stronger person than you'll ever be.

I am messy and inconvenient, gloriously and hilariously broken, and I will never be whole. I will always be damaged and leaking, not blood but words:

Of the pain of rejection,

of the loss of a life that I never had,

and of the horrible knowledge that I am as alien to your world as a Lovecraftian Elder God.

But just like the Old Ones of Lovecraft's mythology, the world that I'm a part of now -- the one I escaped to -- is more real, more solid, and more lasting than yours. And one day your world will collapse like a soap bubble, and reality in all of its beautiful madness will flood back inside.

You're scared of me because you know this. Because in my eyes, in my face, in my very existence that you tried to crush, you see the end of your world.

You should be afraid. Because when your fragile world pops, I will be there:

With my watery tentacles outstretched,

my flowing wings held high,

and my joyous laughter resounding through your flooded Heaven.

It will be beautiful.

And then, if you are still there, I will blow you a raspberry.


Love,

Lapis Lazuli

Click here to gaze into the eyes of madness.


jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Today I went grocery shopping, and picked up a bunch of basic Japanese cooking ingredients to experiment with: Red miso, mirin, nori, kombu (sadly not in a salt-shaker), a bundle of scallions / green onions, and three types of noodles. I also picked up some disposable chopsticks to practice with, and some "cup noodle" type things to calibrate flavours and use as inspiration.

I then proceeded to spill a bowl of soup all over my lap, my desk, and the floor.

Fortunately, the damage to my books seems minimal, and I was able to successfully eat a bowl of instant miso soup after moving it up to the table. The noodles were slippery and rubbery, and it was not very good, but how's that for a learning experience?

Also life update stuff

Trying to focus on positive things here. Having trouble getting the correct gender marker on our passport, which is causing some stress and anxiety. Consulted with an immigration lawyer by Skype, along with [tumblr.com profile] spinecrawlerrush. It was educational, and I think I know what to do in order to prepare an application.

Our revised plan: Visit in January, wedding and move in this summer, when we can hopefully get a place together with our friend / future sibling-in-law. The Canadian immigration process may take about a year or more from that time, so we'll have to try to stay there by renewing a tourist visa in the meantime.

Wish us luck ... I hope you're all doing okay. I'm still working on the next story, and streaming a few times a week on Twitch. You can sign up to get email notifications of streams that you follow, if you'd like to watch Tales of Graces F.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

If this is what “Democracy” looks like in the 20th century–Nazis throwing their Sieg Heil in a public building in Washington DC to celebrate the election of a Nazi President…then you can count me out.

Both my grandfathers went to war and risked their lives to keep people like this from ruling the world.

If this [is] America now…then “America” and I are now at war. Which is pretty scary, because America has the largest and most powerful military in the history of the world…and all I’ve got is this laptop.

Oh well.

-- Arinn Dembo, We Are At War

"America" has always been a piece of crap, genocidal, white supremacist settler state. Some of us have been dealing with this America for our whole lives. We didn't have the choice of whether or not to go to war with it, because it declared war on us.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

Content note: Massive spoilers for We Know The Devil. Depressive musings.

Spoilers behind cut )

I died when I came out to Yuro, and I died when I came out to my family, and I died when they posted the election results, and I died and I died and I died.

How do I live?

Who will let me?

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

I have a friend whose father was a migrant worker and an associate of Cesar Chavez, who will be remembered at the judgement bar for lifting up the lowest of people, who contribute to our economy in the form of cheap produce.

I have several friends who have been the victims of sexual assault, (it’s that common) and who are triggered to varying degrees by the campaign remarks and actions and final election of a sexual predator.

I know a Syrian refugee family in the first weeks of adjustment to their new life in Arizona who found death threats from an anonymous neighbor, for whom many of us made an effort to encourage them that not all their neighbors would wish them evil.

My friends are devastated that the misogynist, racist, religious bigot candidate squeaked by to be elected, and fearful of newly empowered racists, misogynists, and religious bigots at large. Anyone who wants to tell them they should ‘get over it’ already will have to get through me first. We all know that we must move forward somehow come January 20. Grieving is part of some folks’ preparation. Compassion is a duty too.

-- MDearest, comment on Zelophehad's Daughters essay

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

It is, perhaps, no surprise that the people who seem to be managing best out of the at-risk citizens I know are almost all survivors of some sort of sustained abuse—of domestic violence, child abuse, of the historic abuse enacted by grim and sordid definition on marginalized and minority groups, or all three. Some of the most vulnerable people I know are also the best in a crisis, because they kick immediately into survivor mode. One of my most fragile friends has spent the past few days making some of the fiercest political art of her life, another has put together quick, comprehensible reading lists for strategies of resistance, another is fundraising like mad for abortion rights charities and bringing networks together to keep up the momentum. This doesn’t mean they’re grieving any less, nor that those of us still pinned to our beds with panic are poor soldiers in this war to which we find ourselves conscripts. It means that the strategies that will sustain us all in the coming weeks and months are exactly the strategies that have always allowed [people] to survive abuse and intimate terrorism. They are strategies for practical survival that are also emotional armour.

[...] Normalization is psychic armour. But so is resistance. In the coming weeks and months and years we must navigate a course between the exhaustion of perpetual outrage and the numbness of normalization. That means taking care of ourselves and of one another. It means practicing a sort of emotional intelligence that the new power order lacks the capacity to imagine, an emotional intelligence that is all that stands between us and fascism with a cartoon face. It’s also called courage. If standing up to bullies was cost-free, we’d have a different world. If enough of us do it anyway, we can still make one.

-- Laurie Penny, Against Bargaining: On not taking leave of your senses

Personal stuff )

Take care of yourselves. Be aggressively good to yourselves, and your vulnerable friends. Be well.

Then stand up to bullies, for me and for every one of their targets.

jewelfox: A portrait of Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series as an anthropomorphic albino red fox, in a sleeveless lavender top. (rei)

But its message was not that we should be conciliatory towards actual fascists, or let them say horrible things at (American) Thanksgiving. Its real message was directed at the supporters themselves.

Content note: Spoilers for an episode of Steven Universe.

Read more... )

My sympathy and condolences, to everyone living that story next week.

If you've been staying quiet to keep the peace, now is the time to fight back. Especially at Thanksgiving dinner. Now is the time to challenge bigoted people. Now is the time to burn your bridges, destroy your relationships, and never be invited back because you called someone out for their hate speech.

More people will die if you don't.

jewelfox: A portrait of Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series as an anthropomorphic albino red fox, in a sleeveless lavender top. (rei)

Trigger Warning: Talk of suicide, and an actual call to physical violence.

Read more... )

I'm not planning on dying anytime soon. But I would like to have an AR app, which lets me see the blood on everyone's hands. It's always been there, but there is more than usual lately.

EDIT: I do not think the person who wrote this essay meant to chastise our friends here on Dreamwidth. It looks like a wake up call for the unaware and uncaring.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

So, if you've read my access-locked posts the conflict is still going on. ^^; Someone important in my partner and friends' lives keeps saying and doing things that unintentionally hurt everyone, and dealing with the fallout -- and helping people defend themselves -- has been a full-time job these past few weeks.

On the plus side, I just got my hardcover copy of War of Ashes: Fate of Agaptus, by Sophie Lagacé! And for a limited time, you can get a pay-what-you-want (as low as $0) PDF version on DriveThruRPG.

A book cover which shows a variety of Muppet-like, furry creatures, brandishing weapons to defend themselves against hostile creatures, in a grim fantasy world where the sky is grey. The caption reads 'Roleplaying in a Grimsical World of Fantasy.'

"Grimsical" is the best word.

It's a rather grim fantasy RPG, which stars cute furry characters. I love it. ^^; It has very good production values, and the author does a really good job of porting the best parts of miniatures-based RPGs into Fate Accelerated, with stunts and manoeuvres that affect and are affected by positioning.

Why does it have optional minis rules? Because it's based on the War of Ashes miniatures game(s) by Zombiesmith, the makers of Kami Tale! So you can get cute, monstrous furry miniatures for your grimdark roleplaying game.

... I want all of them.

Fusion

Oct. 18th, 2016 07:11 am
jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

So, I've been meaning to write a longer post about this. But that's part of the reason I keep procrastinating on updating Dreamwidth, so here goes.

working on our dance )

We're getting better at doing it. And when we do, I feel so much better about myself.

... it's also been fun drawing on this experience to write first-person POV fanfic.

jewelfox: A portrait of a foxgryphon with a beak, black fur, magenta hair, fox ears, and a neckband with a large jewel on it. (Default)

So I was flipping through my Warhammer 40,000 and Warmachine books, trying to decide what to keep and what to discard. And despite the messy cover art of robots abusing performance-enhancing drugs, the Warmachine books also had the following:

  • POV female characters who are competent and sympathetic
  • Short stories where civilian lives and homes were important, and the "warcasters" relate to them as equals
  • People from different backgrounds (and even opposing armies) working together
  • People with very different reasons to be a career soldier, few or none of which were "rabid xenophobia"
  • Photos of towns, workplaces, and homes

Whereas the 40k books are ONLY WAR (TM) to the point where you'd think "faux-Gothic ruins" are the only ecosystem in the galaxy, and there are never any people living in them. Seriously, the artwork in some of the Tau books was nice, but the unremitting violence made me uneasy, and 40k characters in general have the emotional range of a brick.

So yeah, that's something we're keeping in mind as we rearrange our collection. We're also starting to look at potential additions in terms of "is this something I want to display?" and "what can I use this for in other games?" rather than just "does this have good stats?"

... also we keep thinking that we want to sculpt 40mm scale Steven Universe models. Starting with a whole army of Watermelon Stevens.

A screencap from the Steven Universe episode "Super Watermelon Island," showing a small army of watermelons shaped like Steven -- including his hair -- waving their spears and cheering and hugging, on a sandy beach. One of them is a cute dog instead of a Steven. In the background are jungle ferns and trees, and enormous sparkling blue and violet geodes.

Maybe we could even get some real geodes for a diorama.

About us

~ Fox | Gem | Rei ~

We tell stories, paint minis, collect identity words, and share them all with our readers. If something we write helps you, let us know.

~ She / her ~

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